I get side tracked way too often.
Even for this blog. I've been meaning to write it for the past few days, but whenever I get on I get a facebook notification or I get interested in someone elses blog and then I don't have time to write a new blog anymore. :(
What a bitch!
Life? Same. Work? Same. Emotions. On a bit of a flux. I've been going in and out of this state of minor to slightly severe depression as of late. The boyfrined is staying with me, so with him there I don't get as sad as I think I would alone.
That being said, it's strange to be depressed while at the same time trying to please and take care of another person. Pretending to be happy bites.
I'm reading this thuroughly engrossing novel by Andrew Davidson called The Gargoyle. It's beautifully written, which means that the authors is most likely a creep who gets off on his own writing. Why can't authors be hot? I never undersoon.
The novel is about a man who gets in a car accident and sufferes from massive burns across most of his body. After the accident he is confronted by a woman who swears that he saved her life in another life. It's really fascinating really. I'm having trouble putting it down. However, I'm also having trouble finding time to read. :/
Recently an old friend of mine has gotten in contact with me once more. While in the past we had a huge falling out, I think we're acting pretty maturely about it. It's good. I've kind of missed having someone who knows how I act and knows what's funny. I miss her.
The only problem with our relationship is that she came to love me. I can say over and over that it's not my fault (which it's not) but it doesn't really solve the problem. I guess in a way, I lead her on, but she knew from the beginning that I preferred sexual intercorse with the same sex. There were times when I was drunk that I said outlandish things that I never recalled in the morning, but I never wanted her to fall in love with me. I as just being nice. I feel, in a way, she just wanted it so badly that she made herself believe I said and meant those things. For instance, I never said I was IN love with her. I just said I loved her, but she heared what she wanted to hear.
It's not about placing blame. I'm definitely at fault for the way I handled it.
But that's in the past. I hope we're working towards renewing that friendship. She's the only one who ever just got me. You know? Just like, I didn't have to say anything, she just understoond what was going on in my head na din my heart. Here's to working it out. ^^
I've been having trouble getting motivated for the gym. I need someone to just tell me what the fuck I need to do there. I go to the gym and I stare around at all the stuff and I try to think, what can I do that will give me the best results? I feel like I go and I waste my time there. I need some advice. When should I put more weights on the bar? How much? What lifts should I do? How do I lift them correctly? *sigh*
I think I'm going to go online and go to a forum and try and get some help. Maybe someone who knows what they're doing can give me some help.
I'm going to go to my first gay pride parade tomorrow. By first, I mean my first adult one. My mother, who is lesbian, took me to one when I was little. I don't remember much. All I remember was eating honey straight off of the comb and seeing lesbians putting their hands down their partners pants while wearing leather and riding motor bikes. Fantastic! :P
I'm not sure about this pride fest. It's in Korea, one of the most conservatives non-conservative country out there. Homosexually is not excepted here. There's going to be a parade, and some events and then everyone is going to the gay clubs. I'd love to attend but I have to pay to replace my bathroom door so I have to go home before the clubbing starts. I can't afford to stay in a motel over night.
That's what I fear, that the real party is going to be at the place I'm NOT going to. :(
Since I mentioned it, I somehow got locked in my bathroom door with the boyfriend and we had to break a hole in it to get out. I have to pay 140,000 won for it, which is abotu $140. It stinks. :(
On the plus side I bought an xbox 360! ^^ It was terribly expensive but I have games to play. :P Weeee!
