I think it's bad when you're dating someone and you're just waiting for that opportune moment to break up. Am I particularly picky? I don't know. I seem to just date ANYONE and find out later that they're fuckin' crazy.
Don't get me wrong. My relationship with my last boyfriends started off great. He was really sweet, kind of naive and sexy. What wasn't there to like.
But always it seems those good things begin to spiral with the bad. Soon, the good stuff gets tainted by the black and I can't tell between the good and the bad anymore, it's just all bad.
Childishness is not forgivable in a relationship and should be done with by now in my age group. I mean, yes, technically we are still quite young. At times I myself can be quite childish, but ignoring me when we have a disagreement only pisses me off. Talking is much more productive. We get things taken care of, we talk it out, all's good.
It is exhausting trying to please someone who is never pleased. Like, you hang out with friends, they require your attention. You hang out with friends they have to make sure you aren't cheating. Those things are ridiculous. I should be trusted enough to hang out with my friends without being attacked by a barrage of texts and phone calls. ESPECIALLY the cheating thing. I'd never even imagine cheating on my boyfriend. If I want to sleep with someone else, I'll say, "Hey, I gotta be single cause I need to go hit that." I'm at least THAT polite about it.
Your poor family life should not translate to the way you treat your friends and significant others. You had a bad life, alright, I'm sad, but the second you use it as an excuse I already think less of you. Having a bad life doesn't make you a charity case. It doesn't mean I'm going to treat you differently than everyone else. You aren't special just because you thinking you're special gives you the ability to live your life. Pop that damn bubble you're living in!
Dating a college student is stupid unless you're a college student yourself. If you're BOTH poor, then it's okay, but if one of you makes money and the other doesn't, you better not even start that relationship. Me, making money and my ex not meant guess who was the fool who paid for everything?
There are just certain lines I believe shouldn't be crossed for many years. Money is one of them. That remains personal. Half everything for a really long time. If one gets in the mindset that the they can use the other, then it's bad on the relationship. Friends remains personal. It's okay to mix friends, but they can't be included all the time. Friends can't get in the middle of a relationship.
Not only that but I'm pretty sure my ex made a fake facebook profile and a fake friend. He didn't create it for me, but it seems he created the profile a long time ago and used it to make his other friends and his exes jealous of him. Why shouldn't they be? Whenever one of his friends or exes did something that he didn't like he would message about some fun thing he was going to do with this friend. This friend that he created was his best friend...and it's really sad that this friend was just himself.
Unfortunately I can't 100% confirm this, but I'm pretty sure I'm right...which adds a whole nother creepiness level to our entire relationship. Lies and cheats are not a good basis for a stable relationship. It's like building a house on pillars of salt.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
The life
Let's be honest here. Boyfriends can be rather debilitating. That being said, it's still nice to have someone to come home to when you're done with school. Someone you can call up and tell to get the laundry out of the wash (oops, I need to go do that!). Someone to say, okay, start boiling the noodles now, I'll be home in 10 minutes. It was nice.
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
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