http://hooked-on-candycanes.deviantart.com/art/A-boy-217791224
I wrote a piece of work.
It's about my mom. It's about how angry I am at her. It's also a testament to my detestation of her. I will always despise her. Is this childish? Perhaps. She doesn't deserve me in so many ways. She couldn't be there when I needed her, as a child, and she thinks she can get her way back into my life now that I don't need her to take care of me? Fantastic.
It's not that I don't need a motherly figure in my life. That I'm fine with. I don't need her. Abandonment makes one resentful and I will resent her till the end of my days.
I went through a huge...refinement, of my friends. On facebook I had upwards of 800 friends and through many sweeps I removed a majority of them who I have never talked to or feel that nothing lasting is going to come to our relationship. So far I'm below half of what I have and I'm still sweeping my friends list and removing.
I even removed some friends of mine that are still technically my "friends" but that I just don't want to have anything to do with.
I understand that I'm vain. I want my friends to find me interesting. To invite me to things. To not view me as a last result. So, if after the 20th time of you ditching me, I'm going to have to do something about it. It's obvious you don't care about me okay.
I've also been having this estranged identity crisis that's plunged me into some of the strangest thinking I've ever had. I keep feeling displaced from my body...like watching it from afar. I almost had an attack while I was washing my dishes. My head was swirling around and I felt like I wasn't real.
I don't have panic disorder. That's silly. But everyone sometimes has episodes of panic. Luckily it wasn't to hard to control. I just stopped what I was doing and laid down to clear my head. But it was freaky.
I don't like my solitude.
But I don't have anyone to break it.
I'm trying to enjoy my time alone with myself but it's hard. Sometimes I do but 48 hours straight it hard. Just a hello on the street would be nice.
I'm such an extrovert!
Anyway, this identity crisis has led me to question my family and friends. I removed my step-family finally after I realized that they aren't my family and they abandoned me just like my mom. Sorry. You abandon me once and we're done. I don't want anything to do with you.
I also began to question my name. It was given to me by my mother. When the doctor asked her what she wanted to name me, she said, "What's your name?" So my name doesn't have any particular family meaning. I was supposed to be named William or Author but my mother is a stupid bitch, took drugs to prolong her pregnancy and had me when my family were forced to go back home, my father back to sea (he was in the navy).
There is nothing about my mother that redeems her.
However, speaking to a good friend of mine, Kevin told me that I can make my name worth something. I should take it and spite my mum with it. I guess that's what I'm on a quest to do.
Also, not that anyone really cares but I'm in the process of foreskin reconstruction. It's silly. I have to pull on my wang for an hour a day till my foreskin gets long enough that I can buy a device to attach to the end of my wiener so I don't have to pull on it anymore. There is this technique called t-taping but it involves using a ton of tape on my torso/leg which seems too much for me.
I just like the idea of regaining back something that was taken from me. It wasn't my will to get 50% of the flesh from my dick cut off and if I had had the choice I would n't have let anyone do it. Eh, I was a baby at the time, so it's not like I could stop anyone.
I think circumcision is cruel. It removes nerves that are important (why else would we have them!?). It removes a muscle at the tip of the foreskin that keeps it over the glans penis. It protects the glans penis from irritation and abrasions from pants. It removes a majority of the mucous membrane that keeps the glans penis moist and works as lubrication.
Don't give me bull-shit on hygiene. Back 100 years or more hygiene was a problem. We're in the age of white. Things are clean. If you can't teach your child how to clean their penis/foreskin then perhaps you should reconsider being a parent. If a child is properly instructed and forced to clean their penis then they won't get an infection. Who knows, if they do get an infection perhaps it will prompt them to clean it.
All's I'm saying is give the damn boy the chance to decide. I'd rather be 18 and decide if I want to get my foreskin removed then resent my parents at the age of 18 for not having one and wanting one...not to mention it could take anywhere from 2 to 5 years to regain my foreskin.
Gah!
I don't understand people who don't get intense about things. Haven't you ever stood for something you stagnant amoeba!?
^^ What a rant. Anyway, off to teach. This is my last week of full classes. Thanks God!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Pillars of salt
I think it's bad when you're dating someone and you're just waiting for that opportune moment to break up. Am I particularly picky? I don't know. I seem to just date ANYONE and find out later that they're fuckin' crazy.
Don't get me wrong. My relationship with my last boyfriends started off great. He was really sweet, kind of naive and sexy. What wasn't there to like.
But always it seems those good things begin to spiral with the bad. Soon, the good stuff gets tainted by the black and I can't tell between the good and the bad anymore, it's just all bad.
Childishness is not forgivable in a relationship and should be done with by now in my age group. I mean, yes, technically we are still quite young. At times I myself can be quite childish, but ignoring me when we have a disagreement only pisses me off. Talking is much more productive. We get things taken care of, we talk it out, all's good.
It is exhausting trying to please someone who is never pleased. Like, you hang out with friends, they require your attention. You hang out with friends they have to make sure you aren't cheating. Those things are ridiculous. I should be trusted enough to hang out with my friends without being attacked by a barrage of texts and phone calls. ESPECIALLY the cheating thing. I'd never even imagine cheating on my boyfriend. If I want to sleep with someone else, I'll say, "Hey, I gotta be single cause I need to go hit that." I'm at least THAT polite about it.
Your poor family life should not translate to the way you treat your friends and significant others. You had a bad life, alright, I'm sad, but the second you use it as an excuse I already think less of you. Having a bad life doesn't make you a charity case. It doesn't mean I'm going to treat you differently than everyone else. You aren't special just because you thinking you're special gives you the ability to live your life. Pop that damn bubble you're living in!
Dating a college student is stupid unless you're a college student yourself. If you're BOTH poor, then it's okay, but if one of you makes money and the other doesn't, you better not even start that relationship. Me, making money and my ex not meant guess who was the fool who paid for everything?
There are just certain lines I believe shouldn't be crossed for many years. Money is one of them. That remains personal. Half everything for a really long time. If one gets in the mindset that the they can use the other, then it's bad on the relationship. Friends remains personal. It's okay to mix friends, but they can't be included all the time. Friends can't get in the middle of a relationship.
Not only that but I'm pretty sure my ex made a fake facebook profile and a fake friend. He didn't create it for me, but it seems he created the profile a long time ago and used it to make his other friends and his exes jealous of him. Why shouldn't they be? Whenever one of his friends or exes did something that he didn't like he would message about some fun thing he was going to do with this friend. This friend that he created was his best friend...and it's really sad that this friend was just himself.
Unfortunately I can't 100% confirm this, but I'm pretty sure I'm right...which adds a whole nother creepiness level to our entire relationship. Lies and cheats are not a good basis for a stable relationship. It's like building a house on pillars of salt.
Don't get me wrong. My relationship with my last boyfriends started off great. He was really sweet, kind of naive and sexy. What wasn't there to like.
But always it seems those good things begin to spiral with the bad. Soon, the good stuff gets tainted by the black and I can't tell between the good and the bad anymore, it's just all bad.
Childishness is not forgivable in a relationship and should be done with by now in my age group. I mean, yes, technically we are still quite young. At times I myself can be quite childish, but ignoring me when we have a disagreement only pisses me off. Talking is much more productive. We get things taken care of, we talk it out, all's good.
It is exhausting trying to please someone who is never pleased. Like, you hang out with friends, they require your attention. You hang out with friends they have to make sure you aren't cheating. Those things are ridiculous. I should be trusted enough to hang out with my friends without being attacked by a barrage of texts and phone calls. ESPECIALLY the cheating thing. I'd never even imagine cheating on my boyfriend. If I want to sleep with someone else, I'll say, "Hey, I gotta be single cause I need to go hit that." I'm at least THAT polite about it.
Your poor family life should not translate to the way you treat your friends and significant others. You had a bad life, alright, I'm sad, but the second you use it as an excuse I already think less of you. Having a bad life doesn't make you a charity case. It doesn't mean I'm going to treat you differently than everyone else. You aren't special just because you thinking you're special gives you the ability to live your life. Pop that damn bubble you're living in!
Dating a college student is stupid unless you're a college student yourself. If you're BOTH poor, then it's okay, but if one of you makes money and the other doesn't, you better not even start that relationship. Me, making money and my ex not meant guess who was the fool who paid for everything?
There are just certain lines I believe shouldn't be crossed for many years. Money is one of them. That remains personal. Half everything for a really long time. If one gets in the mindset that the they can use the other, then it's bad on the relationship. Friends remains personal. It's okay to mix friends, but they can't be included all the time. Friends can't get in the middle of a relationship.
Not only that but I'm pretty sure my ex made a fake facebook profile and a fake friend. He didn't create it for me, but it seems he created the profile a long time ago and used it to make his other friends and his exes jealous of him. Why shouldn't they be? Whenever one of his friends or exes did something that he didn't like he would message about some fun thing he was going to do with this friend. This friend that he created was his best friend...and it's really sad that this friend was just himself.
Unfortunately I can't 100% confirm this, but I'm pretty sure I'm right...which adds a whole nother creepiness level to our entire relationship. Lies and cheats are not a good basis for a stable relationship. It's like building a house on pillars of salt.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The life
Let's be honest here. Boyfriends can be rather debilitating. That being said, it's still nice to have someone to come home to when you're done with school. Someone you can call up and tell to get the laundry out of the wash (oops, I need to go do that!). Someone to say, okay, start boiling the noodles now, I'll be home in 10 minutes. It was nice.
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The dangers of being side tracked
I get side tracked way too often.
Even for this blog. I've been meaning to write it for the past few days, but whenever I get on I get a facebook notification or I get interested in someone elses blog and then I don't have time to write a new blog anymore. :(
What a bitch!
Life? Same. Work? Same. Emotions. On a bit of a flux. I've been going in and out of this state of minor to slightly severe depression as of late. The boyfrined is staying with me, so with him there I don't get as sad as I think I would alone.
That being said, it's strange to be depressed while at the same time trying to please and take care of another person. Pretending to be happy bites.
I'm reading this thuroughly engrossing novel by Andrew Davidson called The Gargoyle. It's beautifully written, which means that the authors is most likely a creep who gets off on his own writing. Why can't authors be hot? I never undersoon.
The novel is about a man who gets in a car accident and sufferes from massive burns across most of his body. After the accident he is confronted by a woman who swears that he saved her life in another life. It's really fascinating really. I'm having trouble putting it down. However, I'm also having trouble finding time to read. :/
Recently an old friend of mine has gotten in contact with me once more. While in the past we had a huge falling out, I think we're acting pretty maturely about it. It's good. I've kind of missed having someone who knows how I act and knows what's funny. I miss her.
The only problem with our relationship is that she came to love me. I can say over and over that it's not my fault (which it's not) but it doesn't really solve the problem. I guess in a way, I lead her on, but she knew from the beginning that I preferred sexual intercorse with the same sex. There were times when I was drunk that I said outlandish things that I never recalled in the morning, but I never wanted her to fall in love with me. I as just being nice. I feel, in a way, she just wanted it so badly that she made herself believe I said and meant those things. For instance, I never said I was IN love with her. I just said I loved her, but she heared what she wanted to hear.
It's not about placing blame. I'm definitely at fault for the way I handled it.
But that's in the past. I hope we're working towards renewing that friendship. She's the only one who ever just got me. You know? Just like, I didn't have to say anything, she just understoond what was going on in my head na din my heart. Here's to working it out. ^^
I've been having trouble getting motivated for the gym. I need someone to just tell me what the fuck I need to do there. I go to the gym and I stare around at all the stuff and I try to think, what can I do that will give me the best results? I feel like I go and I waste my time there. I need some advice. When should I put more weights on the bar? How much? What lifts should I do? How do I lift them correctly? *sigh*
I think I'm going to go online and go to a forum and try and get some help. Maybe someone who knows what they're doing can give me some help.
I'm going to go to my first gay pride parade tomorrow. By first, I mean my first adult one. My mother, who is lesbian, took me to one when I was little. I don't remember much. All I remember was eating honey straight off of the comb and seeing lesbians putting their hands down their partners pants while wearing leather and riding motor bikes. Fantastic! :P
I'm not sure about this pride fest. It's in Korea, one of the most conservatives non-conservative country out there. Homosexually is not excepted here. There's going to be a parade, and some events and then everyone is going to the gay clubs. I'd love to attend but I have to pay to replace my bathroom door so I have to go home before the clubbing starts. I can't afford to stay in a motel over night.
That's what I fear, that the real party is going to be at the place I'm NOT going to. :(
Since I mentioned it, I somehow got locked in my bathroom door with the boyfriend and we had to break a hole in it to get out. I have to pay 140,000 won for it, which is abotu $140. It stinks. :(
On the plus side I bought an xbox 360! ^^ It was terribly expensive but I have games to play. :P Weeee!
Even for this blog. I've been meaning to write it for the past few days, but whenever I get on I get a facebook notification or I get interested in someone elses blog and then I don't have time to write a new blog anymore. :(
What a bitch!
Life? Same. Work? Same. Emotions. On a bit of a flux. I've been going in and out of this state of minor to slightly severe depression as of late. The boyfrined is staying with me, so with him there I don't get as sad as I think I would alone.
That being said, it's strange to be depressed while at the same time trying to please and take care of another person. Pretending to be happy bites.
I'm reading this thuroughly engrossing novel by Andrew Davidson called The Gargoyle. It's beautifully written, which means that the authors is most likely a creep who gets off on his own writing. Why can't authors be hot? I never undersoon.
The novel is about a man who gets in a car accident and sufferes from massive burns across most of his body. After the accident he is confronted by a woman who swears that he saved her life in another life. It's really fascinating really. I'm having trouble putting it down. However, I'm also having trouble finding time to read. :/
Recently an old friend of mine has gotten in contact with me once more. While in the past we had a huge falling out, I think we're acting pretty maturely about it. It's good. I've kind of missed having someone who knows how I act and knows what's funny. I miss her.
The only problem with our relationship is that she came to love me. I can say over and over that it's not my fault (which it's not) but it doesn't really solve the problem. I guess in a way, I lead her on, but she knew from the beginning that I preferred sexual intercorse with the same sex. There were times when I was drunk that I said outlandish things that I never recalled in the morning, but I never wanted her to fall in love with me. I as just being nice. I feel, in a way, she just wanted it so badly that she made herself believe I said and meant those things. For instance, I never said I was IN love with her. I just said I loved her, but she heared what she wanted to hear.
It's not about placing blame. I'm definitely at fault for the way I handled it.
But that's in the past. I hope we're working towards renewing that friendship. She's the only one who ever just got me. You know? Just like, I didn't have to say anything, she just understoond what was going on in my head na din my heart. Here's to working it out. ^^
I've been having trouble getting motivated for the gym. I need someone to just tell me what the fuck I need to do there. I go to the gym and I stare around at all the stuff and I try to think, what can I do that will give me the best results? I feel like I go and I waste my time there. I need some advice. When should I put more weights on the bar? How much? What lifts should I do? How do I lift them correctly? *sigh*
I think I'm going to go online and go to a forum and try and get some help. Maybe someone who knows what they're doing can give me some help.
I'm going to go to my first gay pride parade tomorrow. By first, I mean my first adult one. My mother, who is lesbian, took me to one when I was little. I don't remember much. All I remember was eating honey straight off of the comb and seeing lesbians putting their hands down their partners pants while wearing leather and riding motor bikes. Fantastic! :P
I'm not sure about this pride fest. It's in Korea, one of the most conservatives non-conservative country out there. Homosexually is not excepted here. There's going to be a parade, and some events and then everyone is going to the gay clubs. I'd love to attend but I have to pay to replace my bathroom door so I have to go home before the clubbing starts. I can't afford to stay in a motel over night.
That's what I fear, that the real party is going to be at the place I'm NOT going to. :(
Since I mentioned it, I somehow got locked in my bathroom door with the boyfriend and we had to break a hole in it to get out. I have to pay 140,000 won for it, which is abotu $140. It stinks. :(
On the plus side I bought an xbox 360! ^^ It was terribly expensive but I have games to play. :P Weeee!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Five more steamy ones
Alright! Here come another five interestingly different things about Korean culture I've seen. I do hope you deem them original and interesting.
(This blog [as I've reached the end and am writing this] I have come to realize seems a little stabbie towards Korean culture. Just understand that not EVERYONE is a culprit of these personal cultural oddities. They are just some things I have experienced.)
1. Lack of confidentiality.
This one goes without having to be said. In western culture, we have (for the most part) this great radar that tell us weather or not we ought to indulge others in someones personal matters. For instance, if you were sexually harassed you wouldn't want the school you work for to inform not only the entire faculty, but also the student body and then be asked to write a paper on it. No. One would even imagine that such indicators as heavy crying and pulling you away from class to speak to you about presaid situation would be enough to merit privacy. Oh no! Juicy gossip like that spreads like wildfire!
2. Facial hair
Before I begin, isn't the above image delicious? Now, one wouldn't believe it, but 수염 (facial hair) is widely frowned upon here. So, if you're a man with a mean five o'clock shadow, beware. I'm not entirely sure why it has such a negative connotation. Perhaps it's because Korean men severely lack the ability to grow any body hair at all, let alone facial hair. However, something to be considered normal upon the face of a man is quickly considered deeply immoral in Korean society. When I first didn't shave, all of my coworkers asked me thing like, "Did you sleep last night?" "Did you break up with your girlfriend?" "Did you drink soju last night?" No. I none of those things occurred. I just woke up and didn't feel like razing off half of my face to be clean cut today. So sue me. It gets hard to shave everyday when it grows back so fast. That and I have a particularly delicate face (because I am a fragile flower after all) and I break out badly if I shave constantly. However, Some of my coworkers literally called me dirty and many of the students commented on it quite verbally. I even had one girl once who felt my facial hair and screamed outright as if it were a living thin on my face that was going to consume her. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it scratches.
3. Adult bedtimes
I had some difficulty finding an adequate picture for this one so you're just going to have to deal with the above (on a side note, why does there even exist an International Society for Men Who Still Live With Their Parents? Is it really that in need of support. I feel like quite the opposite should be enforced). Now, this one is a tad strange and I really can't get over it. It's true, in the States, the norm for a person living with their family is getting higher. It used to be between 18 and 20 that kids left the house. However, now that we live in the age of copious amounts of University work, the age is becoming quite older, possibly up to the late 20s. Personally, I feel like past the age of 25 and you really need to get out of there. I don't have much room to talk, but I'm not living with my parents either (though I'm still a tad dependent up on them). I would imagine most people to agree with me.
The situation is a bit different here in k-town. Instead, the cut-off date is extended indefinitely until the individual is married. So, in essence, you are living with your family until you tie the knot. Maybe it's supposed to act as inspiration to get you to marry quickly, but even marriage age is quite low here. By around the age of 25 you need to be thinking of settling down and poppin' some youguns out. The thing is, not everyone is so lucky as to find someone marriage worthy so quickly. So, I've seen men (and I'm sure women) who are between the ages of 30 to 40 still living with their parents, still having their mother call them to come home for dinner, and forcing them to have ridiculous bed times. Cute, but rather annoying...or so I'd assume.
4. Disregard for the existence of others.
I don't mean this literally. There aren't a bunch of people running around going, "You don't exist, you don't exist!". Rather, what I mean is that common courtesies are a little hard to come by here. Don't get me wrong, I have had nice strangers give me yogurt drinks on buses and say hello to me on the street. But here, I have had my fair share of doors close right on my face. Age is an important aspect of life in Korea, so the older they are, in most cases the more comfortable they are with abandoning such simple courtesies as stepping out of your way when you're walking the correct way on the sidewalk and they are obviously not. Many Korean's don't believe in opening the door for others and especially, closing the door for others. In fact, today I was eating lunch and one of the kids left the door to the cafeteria open. All of the teachers commented on how cold it was but not a single one of them got up to close the door. I had to do it myself. I've seen this done in many places like restaurants, train and bus terminals, and classrooms.
I also work out in a gym, and not once have I seen the weights rearranged, put back into place, or removed off of bars. Instead, the weights are merely shifted around the place and you just have to search high and low for what you need. As well, if you're in the middle of a set (it's kind of obvious...because, you know, you're using the equipment and everyone can see that) no one gives two shits if you're done with it. They want the damn bench press, they're gonna take it over. At first, I thought it was a language barrier thing, but I've seen it done to everyone. Eventually I managed to shed my weak western pushoverness and just did the same thing when they stole my equipment. It still urkes me though!
5. Internet explorer...only...we're serious.
Korea is obsessed with Windows. Even more, their obsessed with internet explorer. Yes, you can use other browsers, but if you want to, say, order a pizza online from pizza hut, you're going to need to do it on internet explorer. Places just don't format their websites to be friendly towards browsers like firefox, safari and (my personal favorite) chrome. I've had sites crash, freak out, or even refuse to load because I'm not using the obviously "better" browser. However, if you're like me and any other of my friends, you probably don't like internet explorer much, let alone use it. And trust me, you won't want to come here with a macbook unless it has mac windows installed. You'll never have a use for it here. It's not necessarily that bad, it's just more or less inconvenient. Like...internet explorer is evil (hence the black internet explorer icon displayed above).
(This blog [as I've reached the end and am writing this] I have come to realize seems a little stabbie towards Korean culture. Just understand that not EVERYONE is a culprit of these personal cultural oddities. They are just some things I have experienced.)
1. Lack of confidentiality.
This one goes without having to be said. In western culture, we have (for the most part) this great radar that tell us weather or not we ought to indulge others in someones personal matters. For instance, if you were sexually harassed you wouldn't want the school you work for to inform not only the entire faculty, but also the student body and then be asked to write a paper on it. No. One would even imagine that such indicators as heavy crying and pulling you away from class to speak to you about presaid situation would be enough to merit privacy. Oh no! Juicy gossip like that spreads like wildfire!
2. Facial hair
Before I begin, isn't the above image delicious? Now, one wouldn't believe it, but 수염 (facial hair) is widely frowned upon here. So, if you're a man with a mean five o'clock shadow, beware. I'm not entirely sure why it has such a negative connotation. Perhaps it's because Korean men severely lack the ability to grow any body hair at all, let alone facial hair. However, something to be considered normal upon the face of a man is quickly considered deeply immoral in Korean society. When I first didn't shave, all of my coworkers asked me thing like, "Did you sleep last night?" "Did you break up with your girlfriend?" "Did you drink soju last night?" No. I none of those things occurred. I just woke up and didn't feel like razing off half of my face to be clean cut today. So sue me. It gets hard to shave everyday when it grows back so fast. That and I have a particularly delicate face (because I am a fragile flower after all) and I break out badly if I shave constantly. However, Some of my coworkers literally called me dirty and many of the students commented on it quite verbally. I even had one girl once who felt my facial hair and screamed outright as if it were a living thin on my face that was going to consume her. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it scratches.
3. Adult bedtimes
I had some difficulty finding an adequate picture for this one so you're just going to have to deal with the above (on a side note, why does there even exist an International Society for Men Who Still Live With Their Parents? Is it really that in need of support. I feel like quite the opposite should be enforced). Now, this one is a tad strange and I really can't get over it. It's true, in the States, the norm for a person living with their family is getting higher. It used to be between 18 and 20 that kids left the house. However, now that we live in the age of copious amounts of University work, the age is becoming quite older, possibly up to the late 20s. Personally, I feel like past the age of 25 and you really need to get out of there. I don't have much room to talk, but I'm not living with my parents either (though I'm still a tad dependent up on them). I would imagine most people to agree with me.
The situation is a bit different here in k-town. Instead, the cut-off date is extended indefinitely until the individual is married. So, in essence, you are living with your family until you tie the knot. Maybe it's supposed to act as inspiration to get you to marry quickly, but even marriage age is quite low here. By around the age of 25 you need to be thinking of settling down and poppin' some youguns out. The thing is, not everyone is so lucky as to find someone marriage worthy so quickly. So, I've seen men (and I'm sure women) who are between the ages of 30 to 40 still living with their parents, still having their mother call them to come home for dinner, and forcing them to have ridiculous bed times. Cute, but rather annoying...or so I'd assume.
4. Disregard for the existence of others.
I don't mean this literally. There aren't a bunch of people running around going, "You don't exist, you don't exist!". Rather, what I mean is that common courtesies are a little hard to come by here. Don't get me wrong, I have had nice strangers give me yogurt drinks on buses and say hello to me on the street. But here, I have had my fair share of doors close right on my face. Age is an important aspect of life in Korea, so the older they are, in most cases the more comfortable they are with abandoning such simple courtesies as stepping out of your way when you're walking the correct way on the sidewalk and they are obviously not. Many Korean's don't believe in opening the door for others and especially, closing the door for others. In fact, today I was eating lunch and one of the kids left the door to the cafeteria open. All of the teachers commented on how cold it was but not a single one of them got up to close the door. I had to do it myself. I've seen this done in many places like restaurants, train and bus terminals, and classrooms.
I also work out in a gym, and not once have I seen the weights rearranged, put back into place, or removed off of bars. Instead, the weights are merely shifted around the place and you just have to search high and low for what you need. As well, if you're in the middle of a set (it's kind of obvious...because, you know, you're using the equipment and everyone can see that) no one gives two shits if you're done with it. They want the damn bench press, they're gonna take it over. At first, I thought it was a language barrier thing, but I've seen it done to everyone. Eventually I managed to shed my weak western pushoverness and just did the same thing when they stole my equipment. It still urkes me though!
5. Internet explorer...only...we're serious.
Korea is obsessed with Windows. Even more, their obsessed with internet explorer. Yes, you can use other browsers, but if you want to, say, order a pizza online from pizza hut, you're going to need to do it on internet explorer. Places just don't format their websites to be friendly towards browsers like firefox, safari and (my personal favorite) chrome. I've had sites crash, freak out, or even refuse to load because I'm not using the obviously "better" browser. However, if you're like me and any other of my friends, you probably don't like internet explorer much, let alone use it. And trust me, you won't want to come here with a macbook unless it has mac windows installed. You'll never have a use for it here. It's not necessarily that bad, it's just more or less inconvenient. Like...internet explorer is evil (hence the black internet explorer icon displayed above).
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My last blog was number 50
I only realize now after seeing that my last blog was my 50th.
Am I supposed to celebrate?
It's fun to come up with some reason to party it up, even if it's over really lame things.
I've noticed lately that all of the people who I had been following since my come to Korea on blogger have sort of, stopped blogging. Their blogs are now quite here and there and seem to have run out of proverbial fuel.
The same goes for me. I just haven't had the urge to blog. It's boring to post the same boring stuff that happens day after day. What's sad is that's all your adult life really is. Same old, same old. I really wish I had enjoyed my childhood more often.
I stupidly thought that I was going to be able to remain in Korea for however long I wanted. I'm sad that I was very sorely mistaken. The requirements for me to get an E-2 visa in Korea without being with the TaLK program involves my return to the states to finish my bachelors.
I can't complain. At first, I was very very upset. The idea of leaving my boyfriend who I had worked so hard to attain and the life I had grown to really enjoy here just seemed unbearable. Now, I'm beginning to get the pre-school jitters. The idea of starting again doing something new is exciting.
Most importantly though, I'm just excited to get my bachelors. I want to be done. I just want to have that stupid piece of paper so that I can say I wasted my money and my time in a facility just so I can work in this country.
I've really grown to love Korea. I'm going to be in tears when I leave this place. But two short years and I'll be back again, teaching it up for the furthering of this beautiful and in many ways strange country.
I have to go to K-State though (because that's the only place I had filled everything out for). It's not that I don't want to go there, but WSU is far closer to my hometown and thusly I would get to see my family more. Oh well!
I was applying for an online college called Ashford University. It was all going swimmingly until all of the sudden at once they hit me with all of this paperwork and all of these deadlines and I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. So, I opted for a return home instead.
In regards to myself, I think it will be good. It will give me a chance to get all of those college feelings of partying out of my system. This will be my last chance to just whip it out and have fun and be crazy for two more years before I have to settle back into the humdrum of adult life once again.
Let's just hope I don't lose site of my goals and that my present relationship can stand the test of distance. I'm keeping my eyes up, looking out towards the future. Here's to making our dreams come true.
Am I supposed to celebrate?
It's fun to come up with some reason to party it up, even if it's over really lame things.
I've noticed lately that all of the people who I had been following since my come to Korea on blogger have sort of, stopped blogging. Their blogs are now quite here and there and seem to have run out of proverbial fuel.
The same goes for me. I just haven't had the urge to blog. It's boring to post the same boring stuff that happens day after day. What's sad is that's all your adult life really is. Same old, same old. I really wish I had enjoyed my childhood more often.
I stupidly thought that I was going to be able to remain in Korea for however long I wanted. I'm sad that I was very sorely mistaken. The requirements for me to get an E-2 visa in Korea without being with the TaLK program involves my return to the states to finish my bachelors.
I can't complain. At first, I was very very upset. The idea of leaving my boyfriend who I had worked so hard to attain and the life I had grown to really enjoy here just seemed unbearable. Now, I'm beginning to get the pre-school jitters. The idea of starting again doing something new is exciting.
Most importantly though, I'm just excited to get my bachelors. I want to be done. I just want to have that stupid piece of paper so that I can say I wasted my money and my time in a facility just so I can work in this country.
I've really grown to love Korea. I'm going to be in tears when I leave this place. But two short years and I'll be back again, teaching it up for the furthering of this beautiful and in many ways strange country.
I have to go to K-State though (because that's the only place I had filled everything out for). It's not that I don't want to go there, but WSU is far closer to my hometown and thusly I would get to see my family more. Oh well!
I was applying for an online college called Ashford University. It was all going swimmingly until all of the sudden at once they hit me with all of this paperwork and all of these deadlines and I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. So, I opted for a return home instead.
In regards to myself, I think it will be good. It will give me a chance to get all of those college feelings of partying out of my system. This will be my last chance to just whip it out and have fun and be crazy for two more years before I have to settle back into the humdrum of adult life once again.
Let's just hope I don't lose site of my goals and that my present relationship can stand the test of distance. I'm keeping my eyes up, looking out towards the future. Here's to making our dreams come true.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My Quest!
Despite the fact that I'm doing quite well these days, I've been terribly unmotivated to update my blog. This mindset seems to still continue. I'm not going to lie, I really didn't feel up to writing this one, nevertheless, here we are.
My brain works non-stop.
Constantly I try to wrangle, or rope it in (to reference my cowboy Kansan up bringin'. Yeeehaaaaw!) if you will, but I try to do things like, you know, sleep or concentrate, and I really just seem avidly incapable of doing so. Instead my mind whirs and turns, thinking up new ideas for what I want to do with my life, my money, my boyfriend.
I didn't mention that. Oh, woops. I have a partner, significant other, 남자친구, bf. I really could ramble on if you'd like. He's a rather cute boy who I'm very excited to be dating. Yes he's Korean. No, English is not his mother tongue. We tough it out to say the least.
However, because of presaid bf, I seem to be low on funds. Let's face it, who wants to say indoors all the time (though, staying indoors has it's benefits. Eh...EEEH *nudge* *wink*)? However, our pure minds seek entertainment elsewhere, and where else better than the other side of my strangely arranged (my apartment is funky and oblonged shaped) four walls.
I can't complain. What a thrilling way to use my money!
I recently got a perm. Want to see it? Take a look.
It was a nice, do-it-once-in-my-life, sort of opportunity, so now I look like an adjuma as my students so kindly put (means old lady...or ma'am if we want to get technical). Let's just say I don't think I'll be permin' it up every 6 months for the rest of my life.
They changed my classroom (which granted, was more of a library and less of a classroom) into a homeroom classroom, so guess where they decided to stick me?
I've never felt less at home in a closet in my life.
Now, the closet is quite large though. It's probably the size of a nice office, but it's packed full of stuff no one knew what to do with. That, and it's also the sound room, so the main speaker system is there. To cherry top it all off, the strictly speaking Korean adjuma (what does that mean kids?) cleaning lady shares the office with me. So, atop of getting a nice view of traditional garb, drums and the sound system, I'm constantly bathed in the waters of awkward, language barrier induced silence. Joys.
It had been ages without a computer set up in there, and though I continually to almost throat-throttling annoyance reminded my superiors I was without a computer, my pleas seemed to fall on conveniently deaf ears (wait, is that the sound of tea being stirred? How leaps and bounds more riveting then listening to the foreign English teacher. Excuse me. *tink* *tink*).
So, I rolled up my sleeves and took the very proud initiative to assembled the computer that is now resting quietly in my office/closet/catch-all room-thing. I say assemble because, well, I did just that. At times I felt that my assembly was more of a quest or scavenger hunt more than anything else. I had to find an outlet amidst mountains of boxes. Find an extension cord. Locate a monitor (there were four in my room but I had to find an actually working one), mouse (which involved me nicking one from one of the plethora in the computer lab..huhuh!) and discovering the location of an ethernet cable.
Finally, upon full completion of my task, I got the tech guy to come in and hook up internet onto my Frankenstein beauty (HE LIVES!). Regrettably, I had to leave to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to see my creation in full working order, but I'm crossing my fingers for some internet tomorrow. Score!
As for anything else that has been happening in my life? Well, luckily there is much time in it (in regards to my life...I hope [in regards to the time left in my afore mentioned life]) and thusly, will have many more blogs to fill up in the mean time. So, cheers, adieu, yack atchya later, toodles (must this carry on again!?) ciao, anyeong, deuces, etc., etc....
My brain works non-stop.
Constantly I try to wrangle, or rope it in (to reference my cowboy Kansan up bringin'. Yeeehaaaaw!) if you will, but I try to do things like, you know, sleep or concentrate, and I really just seem avidly incapable of doing so. Instead my mind whirs and turns, thinking up new ideas for what I want to do with my life, my money, my boyfriend.
I didn't mention that. Oh, woops. I have a partner, significant other, 남자친구, bf. I really could ramble on if you'd like. He's a rather cute boy who I'm very excited to be dating. Yes he's Korean. No, English is not his mother tongue. We tough it out to say the least.
However, because of presaid bf, I seem to be low on funds. Let's face it, who wants to say indoors all the time (though, staying indoors has it's benefits. Eh...EEEH *nudge* *wink*)? However, our pure minds seek entertainment elsewhere, and where else better than the other side of my strangely arranged (my apartment is funky and oblonged shaped) four walls.
I can't complain. What a thrilling way to use my money!
I recently got a perm. Want to see it? Take a look.
It was a nice, do-it-once-in-my-life, sort of opportunity, so now I look like an adjuma as my students so kindly put (means old lady...or ma'am if we want to get technical). Let's just say I don't think I'll be permin' it up every 6 months for the rest of my life.
They changed my classroom (which granted, was more of a library and less of a classroom) into a homeroom classroom, so guess where they decided to stick me?
I've never felt less at home in a closet in my life.
Now, the closet is quite large though. It's probably the size of a nice office, but it's packed full of stuff no one knew what to do with. That, and it's also the sound room, so the main speaker system is there. To cherry top it all off, the strictly speaking Korean adjuma (what does that mean kids?) cleaning lady shares the office with me. So, atop of getting a nice view of traditional garb, drums and the sound system, I'm constantly bathed in the waters of awkward, language barrier induced silence. Joys.
It had been ages without a computer set up in there, and though I continually to almost throat-throttling annoyance reminded my superiors I was without a computer, my pleas seemed to fall on conveniently deaf ears (wait, is that the sound of tea being stirred? How leaps and bounds more riveting then listening to the foreign English teacher. Excuse me. *tink* *tink*).
So, I rolled up my sleeves and took the very proud initiative to assembled the computer that is now resting quietly in my office/closet/catch-all room-thing. I say assemble because, well, I did just that. At times I felt that my assembly was more of a quest or scavenger hunt more than anything else. I had to find an outlet amidst mountains of boxes. Find an extension cord. Locate a monitor (there were four in my room but I had to find an actually working one), mouse (which involved me nicking one from one of the plethora in the computer lab..huhuh!) and discovering the location of an ethernet cable.
Finally, upon full completion of my task, I got the tech guy to come in and hook up internet onto my Frankenstein beauty (HE LIVES!). Regrettably, I had to leave to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to see my creation in full working order, but I'm crossing my fingers for some internet tomorrow. Score!
As for anything else that has been happening in my life? Well, luckily there is much time in it (in regards to my life...I hope [in regards to the time left in my afore mentioned life]) and thusly, will have many more blogs to fill up in the mean time. So, cheers, adieu, yack atchya later, toodles (must this carry on again!?) ciao, anyeong, deuces, etc., etc....
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