EDIT: My Korean friend helped me update my tablet on TriGem's Korean website. While this update obviously isn't available to American products, I'm certain that it will come automatically setup in the American ones. Anyway, I don't have problems with the lock screen anymore, so no worries. It stays on now. ^^. Also, in case you were wondering, it doesn't run Honeycomb. It runs Froyo.
So there's a new tablet out on the marketplace. Only thing I've found is that there is NO info on it that I can find.
TriGem is a Korean computer/laptop/netbook brand. Personally, I had never heard of the company before. I found out after I bought the product.
Anyway, I'm living in Korea right now and I've been wanting an Android tablet for quite some time, what, being in a country where the Galaxy Tab reigns supreme. However, I don't like the small size of the first Galaxy tab so I was waiting for the Galaxy tab II to come out. But, Korea decided to delay its release (they released it in the states which seems a bit backwards to me...to open in another country first) to decide weather or not to add some television capacities on it or not.
Well, I was impatient so I bought the TriGem, the first large Android tablet out to the Korean public. I nabbed it, thinking I had duped everyone.
On the contrary, I'm a tad disappointed in it. I can't complain though, it IS an Android tablet, but there's just some things that urk me about it.
Let's begin. Okay, I've owned it for about a week and about every time I turn it on it takes about 3 minutes. 3. That's so long to wait for something to turn on. That's like waiting for my computer. It bores me. Also, while yes, you can lock the screen, but if you leave it locked for too long the device turns off by itself. I assume (because there are no English versions of a user manual that I've found because NO ONE who speaks English owns one yet...it's not out in the states. Also, the lock is difficult to get to. You have to hold the power button down and hit a button on the screen called suspend, instead of lock). As I said, I think the makers did this as a favor...like everyone wants their tablet to turn off when they forget to do it themselves. Personally, I'd rather let it die on accident then have to turn it on and wait 3 minutes again to do a quick music or wifi search or even listen to some tunes.
There's a rotate lock on the top right of the device, right between the power button and the back button. I really LOVE the position of these buttons, but I'd rather have a screen lock button (and one that doesn't shut off my tablet) than a rotate screen one.
There have been times where I turned on the tablet and it had trouble just opening a couple of generic apps like settings, sometimes even freezing and forcing me to turn off the tablet again to make it work.
The native music app annoyed me (though maybe not everyone) because it tried to organize my music...but I organized it already in its folder so I didn't want to mess with it. Luckily, I downloaded an app that lets me play music straight from a folder. Nice.
Alright, other than some starting-up hiccups, the tablet does what you need to do. Now, if you're running too many apps it's going to freeze up again. I had a few apps running in the back and tried to play angry birds but it froze mid shot. However, I'm really anal about my devices and I don't run many apps together at the same time because I'm worried my device will explode. O.o
The sound that comes out of the headset isn't as rich as I'd like. Perhaps a twinge of metallicness and the volume control kind of blows too. The volume buttons are located to the right side of the device on the side. But it's annoying because the click either makes it too loud or too soft. I can't get a good volume while listening to music.
I haven't watched anything on it yet. Perhaps I'll add that later when I've tried.
I've read e-books on it and it's really good for that. The big screen is great for it. The tablet is kind of heavy, but it's not like I'm some Grandpa...I'll survive.
What does it look like? It's quite square, kind of thick, with audio jack, charger jack, usb slot, sd card slot, hdmi slot, on the right side and a jack at the bottom too (I asked my Korean friend right here to read the manual for me and tell me what it's for but he said it's not anything. Just for show. I kind of doubt it but I don't know. It's small, thin and looks kind of like an iPhone jack). It's (the tablet) about as thick as a pen...maybe an inch or a very slight amount more.
All added information is added straight onto the sd card. The device has a very small amount of memory, used primarily for its native apps, widgets and personal information. Oh, and the usb drive only works for syncing. All of the other reviews are going to tell you it has a usb drive, but don't get all excited. It can't read an external hard drive. That's one of the biggest reasons I grabbed it up so fast. I was going to watch all of my videos off of a flash drive. That dream was squashed very quickly when I shoved in my usb drive.
Wait, I can't forget the camera. It's a like...1.3 (I think. My friend can't find it in the manual. Anyway, it's bad, trust me) megapixel camera and there's only one, facing your direction, on the same side as the screen. It sort of makes the bar code scanner app a little difficult, but I've tried it and it works. You definitely aren't going to be taking great pictures with this camera. It also takes video but I haven't even tried and nor am I going to. We all KNOW how that will turn out.
It was cheap though. Comparably about 360 usd. It was about 400,000 won.
All in all, this would be a great tablet for a kid. One that doesn't have the expectations of an adult. It's not a powerhouse and it definitely cannot compare to the iPad, but I'd rather suffer with it than buy Apple. However, I'm already saving up for my next Droid tablet...and I don't think it will be a TriGem/Averatec product.
2 out of 5 stars.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 23, 2011
It's the little things
I was doing my dishes today and for the first time I realized that my cup and soap dish matches.
WTF!
^^ For some reason I was terribly surprised by this. I also realized that the basket that catches all of my food is made of plastic even though it looks and feels very deceivingly of metal. Lies!
I guess I've just been on autopilot or something. I feel like those things, little, pointless things, shouldn't be so hard to understand. Perhaps it's the fact that they are little pointless things that makes it alright for me to not freak out over it.
My teachers walked into my office yesterday and presented me with the banner they made for the English camp I'm going to be teaching. It was huge, well laid out and even contained a monumental picture of me on it. I was very embarrassed.
They're even going to give it to me at the end of the camp. I think I'll hang it in my bedroom...or living room. That way my dad can look at me every day! ^^
I'm excited to live with my family again. This is the first time we're all three of us going to be living in a house with just us since my father's divorces. It's sort of...liberating. It's just the guys. It's something I remember my dad saying as he started pulling out of the drive of my Washington home. "It's just us guys." Finally it really true.
We've been living with my Grandma for those who don't know. She's right next door though so we can still go have milk and cookies any old time.
I really want to be more family like when I'm home. Go to Grandmas house for dinner ones or week or once every other week. Remember my family members birthday's (seriously, I only know mine! I'm so vain!). Help look after my Grandma. We were kind of nixed out of the rest of my family's group so we should make a pretty thriving one off in our own little corner. The Rouseys! Forgotten but not dead!
I love my family name. It's time to make it worthwhile!
I can't wait to see everyone I've missed for so long. Family. Friends. People actually WORTH my time. Phew. That's a change! :P
Alright America! Get ready. You have a week. GO!
WTF!
^^ For some reason I was terribly surprised by this. I also realized that the basket that catches all of my food is made of plastic even though it looks and feels very deceivingly of metal. Lies!
I guess I've just been on autopilot or something. I feel like those things, little, pointless things, shouldn't be so hard to understand. Perhaps it's the fact that they are little pointless things that makes it alright for me to not freak out over it.
My teachers walked into my office yesterday and presented me with the banner they made for the English camp I'm going to be teaching. It was huge, well laid out and even contained a monumental picture of me on it. I was very embarrassed.
They're even going to give it to me at the end of the camp. I think I'll hang it in my bedroom...or living room. That way my dad can look at me every day! ^^
I'm excited to live with my family again. This is the first time we're all three of us going to be living in a house with just us since my father's divorces. It's sort of...liberating. It's just the guys. It's something I remember my dad saying as he started pulling out of the drive of my Washington home. "It's just us guys." Finally it really true.
We've been living with my Grandma for those who don't know. She's right next door though so we can still go have milk and cookies any old time.
I really want to be more family like when I'm home. Go to Grandmas house for dinner ones or week or once every other week. Remember my family members birthday's (seriously, I only know mine! I'm so vain!). Help look after my Grandma. We were kind of nixed out of the rest of my family's group so we should make a pretty thriving one off in our own little corner. The Rouseys! Forgotten but not dead!
I love my family name. It's time to make it worthwhile!
I can't wait to see everyone I've missed for so long. Family. Friends. People actually WORTH my time. Phew. That's a change! :P
Alright America! Get ready. You have a week. GO!
Sunday, July 10, 2011
The end of the road...
http://hooked-on-candycanes.deviantart.com/art/A-boy-217791224
I wrote a piece of work.
It's about my mom. It's about how angry I am at her. It's also a testament to my detestation of her. I will always despise her. Is this childish? Perhaps. She doesn't deserve me in so many ways. She couldn't be there when I needed her, as a child, and she thinks she can get her way back into my life now that I don't need her to take care of me? Fantastic.
It's not that I don't need a motherly figure in my life. That I'm fine with. I don't need her. Abandonment makes one resentful and I will resent her till the end of my days.
I went through a huge...refinement, of my friends. On facebook I had upwards of 800 friends and through many sweeps I removed a majority of them who I have never talked to or feel that nothing lasting is going to come to our relationship. So far I'm below half of what I have and I'm still sweeping my friends list and removing.
I even removed some friends of mine that are still technically my "friends" but that I just don't want to have anything to do with.
I understand that I'm vain. I want my friends to find me interesting. To invite me to things. To not view me as a last result. So, if after the 20th time of you ditching me, I'm going to have to do something about it. It's obvious you don't care about me okay.
I've also been having this estranged identity crisis that's plunged me into some of the strangest thinking I've ever had. I keep feeling displaced from my body...like watching it from afar. I almost had an attack while I was washing my dishes. My head was swirling around and I felt like I wasn't real.
I don't have panic disorder. That's silly. But everyone sometimes has episodes of panic. Luckily it wasn't to hard to control. I just stopped what I was doing and laid down to clear my head. But it was freaky.
I don't like my solitude.
But I don't have anyone to break it.
I'm trying to enjoy my time alone with myself but it's hard. Sometimes I do but 48 hours straight it hard. Just a hello on the street would be nice.
I'm such an extrovert!
Anyway, this identity crisis has led me to question my family and friends. I removed my step-family finally after I realized that they aren't my family and they abandoned me just like my mom. Sorry. You abandon me once and we're done. I don't want anything to do with you.
I also began to question my name. It was given to me by my mother. When the doctor asked her what she wanted to name me, she said, "What's your name?" So my name doesn't have any particular family meaning. I was supposed to be named William or Author but my mother is a stupid bitch, took drugs to prolong her pregnancy and had me when my family were forced to go back home, my father back to sea (he was in the navy).
There is nothing about my mother that redeems her.
However, speaking to a good friend of mine, Kevin told me that I can make my name worth something. I should take it and spite my mum with it. I guess that's what I'm on a quest to do.
Also, not that anyone really cares but I'm in the process of foreskin reconstruction. It's silly. I have to pull on my wang for an hour a day till my foreskin gets long enough that I can buy a device to attach to the end of my wiener so I don't have to pull on it anymore. There is this technique called t-taping but it involves using a ton of tape on my torso/leg which seems too much for me.
I just like the idea of regaining back something that was taken from me. It wasn't my will to get 50% of the flesh from my dick cut off and if I had had the choice I would n't have let anyone do it. Eh, I was a baby at the time, so it's not like I could stop anyone.
I think circumcision is cruel. It removes nerves that are important (why else would we have them!?). It removes a muscle at the tip of the foreskin that keeps it over the glans penis. It protects the glans penis from irritation and abrasions from pants. It removes a majority of the mucous membrane that keeps the glans penis moist and works as lubrication.
Don't give me bull-shit on hygiene. Back 100 years or more hygiene was a problem. We're in the age of white. Things are clean. If you can't teach your child how to clean their penis/foreskin then perhaps you should reconsider being a parent. If a child is properly instructed and forced to clean their penis then they won't get an infection. Who knows, if they do get an infection perhaps it will prompt them to clean it.
All's I'm saying is give the damn boy the chance to decide. I'd rather be 18 and decide if I want to get my foreskin removed then resent my parents at the age of 18 for not having one and wanting one...not to mention it could take anywhere from 2 to 5 years to regain my foreskin.
Gah!
I don't understand people who don't get intense about things. Haven't you ever stood for something you stagnant amoeba!?
^^ What a rant. Anyway, off to teach. This is my last week of full classes. Thanks God!
I wrote a piece of work.
It's about my mom. It's about how angry I am at her. It's also a testament to my detestation of her. I will always despise her. Is this childish? Perhaps. She doesn't deserve me in so many ways. She couldn't be there when I needed her, as a child, and she thinks she can get her way back into my life now that I don't need her to take care of me? Fantastic.
It's not that I don't need a motherly figure in my life. That I'm fine with. I don't need her. Abandonment makes one resentful and I will resent her till the end of my days.
I went through a huge...refinement, of my friends. On facebook I had upwards of 800 friends and through many sweeps I removed a majority of them who I have never talked to or feel that nothing lasting is going to come to our relationship. So far I'm below half of what I have and I'm still sweeping my friends list and removing.
I even removed some friends of mine that are still technically my "friends" but that I just don't want to have anything to do with.
I understand that I'm vain. I want my friends to find me interesting. To invite me to things. To not view me as a last result. So, if after the 20th time of you ditching me, I'm going to have to do something about it. It's obvious you don't care about me okay.
I've also been having this estranged identity crisis that's plunged me into some of the strangest thinking I've ever had. I keep feeling displaced from my body...like watching it from afar. I almost had an attack while I was washing my dishes. My head was swirling around and I felt like I wasn't real.
I don't have panic disorder. That's silly. But everyone sometimes has episodes of panic. Luckily it wasn't to hard to control. I just stopped what I was doing and laid down to clear my head. But it was freaky.
I don't like my solitude.
But I don't have anyone to break it.
I'm trying to enjoy my time alone with myself but it's hard. Sometimes I do but 48 hours straight it hard. Just a hello on the street would be nice.
I'm such an extrovert!
Anyway, this identity crisis has led me to question my family and friends. I removed my step-family finally after I realized that they aren't my family and they abandoned me just like my mom. Sorry. You abandon me once and we're done. I don't want anything to do with you.
I also began to question my name. It was given to me by my mother. When the doctor asked her what she wanted to name me, she said, "What's your name?" So my name doesn't have any particular family meaning. I was supposed to be named William or Author but my mother is a stupid bitch, took drugs to prolong her pregnancy and had me when my family were forced to go back home, my father back to sea (he was in the navy).
There is nothing about my mother that redeems her.
However, speaking to a good friend of mine, Kevin told me that I can make my name worth something. I should take it and spite my mum with it. I guess that's what I'm on a quest to do.
Also, not that anyone really cares but I'm in the process of foreskin reconstruction. It's silly. I have to pull on my wang for an hour a day till my foreskin gets long enough that I can buy a device to attach to the end of my wiener so I don't have to pull on it anymore. There is this technique called t-taping but it involves using a ton of tape on my torso/leg which seems too much for me.
I just like the idea of regaining back something that was taken from me. It wasn't my will to get 50% of the flesh from my dick cut off and if I had had the choice I would n't have let anyone do it. Eh, I was a baby at the time, so it's not like I could stop anyone.
I think circumcision is cruel. It removes nerves that are important (why else would we have them!?). It removes a muscle at the tip of the foreskin that keeps it over the glans penis. It protects the glans penis from irritation and abrasions from pants. It removes a majority of the mucous membrane that keeps the glans penis moist and works as lubrication.
Don't give me bull-shit on hygiene. Back 100 years or more hygiene was a problem. We're in the age of white. Things are clean. If you can't teach your child how to clean their penis/foreskin then perhaps you should reconsider being a parent. If a child is properly instructed and forced to clean their penis then they won't get an infection. Who knows, if they do get an infection perhaps it will prompt them to clean it.
All's I'm saying is give the damn boy the chance to decide. I'd rather be 18 and decide if I want to get my foreskin removed then resent my parents at the age of 18 for not having one and wanting one...not to mention it could take anywhere from 2 to 5 years to regain my foreskin.
Gah!
I don't understand people who don't get intense about things. Haven't you ever stood for something you stagnant amoeba!?
^^ What a rant. Anyway, off to teach. This is my last week of full classes. Thanks God!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Pillars of salt
I think it's bad when you're dating someone and you're just waiting for that opportune moment to break up. Am I particularly picky? I don't know. I seem to just date ANYONE and find out later that they're fuckin' crazy.
Don't get me wrong. My relationship with my last boyfriends started off great. He was really sweet, kind of naive and sexy. What wasn't there to like.
But always it seems those good things begin to spiral with the bad. Soon, the good stuff gets tainted by the black and I can't tell between the good and the bad anymore, it's just all bad.
Childishness is not forgivable in a relationship and should be done with by now in my age group. I mean, yes, technically we are still quite young. At times I myself can be quite childish, but ignoring me when we have a disagreement only pisses me off. Talking is much more productive. We get things taken care of, we talk it out, all's good.
It is exhausting trying to please someone who is never pleased. Like, you hang out with friends, they require your attention. You hang out with friends they have to make sure you aren't cheating. Those things are ridiculous. I should be trusted enough to hang out with my friends without being attacked by a barrage of texts and phone calls. ESPECIALLY the cheating thing. I'd never even imagine cheating on my boyfriend. If I want to sleep with someone else, I'll say, "Hey, I gotta be single cause I need to go hit that." I'm at least THAT polite about it.
Your poor family life should not translate to the way you treat your friends and significant others. You had a bad life, alright, I'm sad, but the second you use it as an excuse I already think less of you. Having a bad life doesn't make you a charity case. It doesn't mean I'm going to treat you differently than everyone else. You aren't special just because you thinking you're special gives you the ability to live your life. Pop that damn bubble you're living in!
Dating a college student is stupid unless you're a college student yourself. If you're BOTH poor, then it's okay, but if one of you makes money and the other doesn't, you better not even start that relationship. Me, making money and my ex not meant guess who was the fool who paid for everything?
There are just certain lines I believe shouldn't be crossed for many years. Money is one of them. That remains personal. Half everything for a really long time. If one gets in the mindset that the they can use the other, then it's bad on the relationship. Friends remains personal. It's okay to mix friends, but they can't be included all the time. Friends can't get in the middle of a relationship.
Not only that but I'm pretty sure my ex made a fake facebook profile and a fake friend. He didn't create it for me, but it seems he created the profile a long time ago and used it to make his other friends and his exes jealous of him. Why shouldn't they be? Whenever one of his friends or exes did something that he didn't like he would message about some fun thing he was going to do with this friend. This friend that he created was his best friend...and it's really sad that this friend was just himself.
Unfortunately I can't 100% confirm this, but I'm pretty sure I'm right...which adds a whole nother creepiness level to our entire relationship. Lies and cheats are not a good basis for a stable relationship. It's like building a house on pillars of salt.
Don't get me wrong. My relationship with my last boyfriends started off great. He was really sweet, kind of naive and sexy. What wasn't there to like.
But always it seems those good things begin to spiral with the bad. Soon, the good stuff gets tainted by the black and I can't tell between the good and the bad anymore, it's just all bad.
Childishness is not forgivable in a relationship and should be done with by now in my age group. I mean, yes, technically we are still quite young. At times I myself can be quite childish, but ignoring me when we have a disagreement only pisses me off. Talking is much more productive. We get things taken care of, we talk it out, all's good.
It is exhausting trying to please someone who is never pleased. Like, you hang out with friends, they require your attention. You hang out with friends they have to make sure you aren't cheating. Those things are ridiculous. I should be trusted enough to hang out with my friends without being attacked by a barrage of texts and phone calls. ESPECIALLY the cheating thing. I'd never even imagine cheating on my boyfriend. If I want to sleep with someone else, I'll say, "Hey, I gotta be single cause I need to go hit that." I'm at least THAT polite about it.
Your poor family life should not translate to the way you treat your friends and significant others. You had a bad life, alright, I'm sad, but the second you use it as an excuse I already think less of you. Having a bad life doesn't make you a charity case. It doesn't mean I'm going to treat you differently than everyone else. You aren't special just because you thinking you're special gives you the ability to live your life. Pop that damn bubble you're living in!
Dating a college student is stupid unless you're a college student yourself. If you're BOTH poor, then it's okay, but if one of you makes money and the other doesn't, you better not even start that relationship. Me, making money and my ex not meant guess who was the fool who paid for everything?
There are just certain lines I believe shouldn't be crossed for many years. Money is one of them. That remains personal. Half everything for a really long time. If one gets in the mindset that the they can use the other, then it's bad on the relationship. Friends remains personal. It's okay to mix friends, but they can't be included all the time. Friends can't get in the middle of a relationship.
Not only that but I'm pretty sure my ex made a fake facebook profile and a fake friend. He didn't create it for me, but it seems he created the profile a long time ago and used it to make his other friends and his exes jealous of him. Why shouldn't they be? Whenever one of his friends or exes did something that he didn't like he would message about some fun thing he was going to do with this friend. This friend that he created was his best friend...and it's really sad that this friend was just himself.
Unfortunately I can't 100% confirm this, but I'm pretty sure I'm right...which adds a whole nother creepiness level to our entire relationship. Lies and cheats are not a good basis for a stable relationship. It's like building a house on pillars of salt.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The life
Let's be honest here. Boyfriends can be rather debilitating. That being said, it's still nice to have someone to come home to when you're done with school. Someone you can call up and tell to get the laundry out of the wash (oops, I need to go do that!). Someone to say, okay, start boiling the noodles now, I'll be home in 10 minutes. It was nice.
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
Today marks my third day of singularity. My first break up in Korea from my first ever Korean boy. Will there ever be another? Who knows? I'm going home in August. If Korea can call to me hard enough, maybe I'll return.
But there are so many things that are so backwards about this place! ^^ Not that that is necessarily bad. It just makes me miss home that much more.
My first night out single I went out to dinner with my Korean teacher YoonKyeong and her friend Eoreum (pronounced Autumn). We went to this really cute pasta place in Chuncheon's Myeongdong called Kitchen. I was really surprised that I got full because the plate of food was so rinky dinky. I guess that's pasta expanding in your stomach for you. What's funny is at the end they gave us frozen whip cream and called it ice cream. Do NOT lie to me, who comes from a place were whip cream is plentiful and used too much. I know okay. I know.
We proceeded to go clothes shopping in the underground mall. Cheap prices, cool temperature to escape the heat (though by that time it was beginning to cool down outside as well), and tons of people in a subway-like area. Picture that in your noggin. However, going shopping was something I haven't done since I got a boyfriend, so I had to get back in my game, but once I did I was having fun making fun of hideous clothes and making YoonKyeong and Autumn laugh. It was surprisingly more fun than I thought because I didn't buy anything. I'm still too poor. But, I was a good fag and helped out YoonKyeong as she bought some cute stuff, of course guided by the hand of yours truly.
After that we went to a western bar to go see a cutie that YoonKyeong was crushing slightly on but when we got there we discovered to our intent dissatisfaction that he had quit a few days earlier. Paul met up with us eventually, but I went home early to nurse a cold that was brewing in my throat (that sounds dirty).
Speaking of that cold, it's continued for two more days now, getting a little more worse! My voice is now quite weak and sounds very very prepubescent boy-ish. Also I woke up to either snort out or cough up the thickest mucus EVER! I was almost drowning in that shit. It was so gross and it has such a strange taste....O.o
Maybe it's gross of me to talk about it. *shrugs*
Now with what I'm going to do in two months very set in stone (I bought the plane ticket so it means it's FINAL!) I'm beginning to deduce the items of which I will leave for the next scholar, give away to my nice foreign neighbors (who I went out to eat with last night and let me tell you, they are good company! They're from Missouri so of course we get along...wait...isn't there a big rivalry between Kansas and Missouri or is that only in Kansas City? Oh well, they're nice so fuck it!), and which that I'll attempt to pack in my suit case.
I bought an xbox 360 so packing that is going to be a bitch. I can just feel it.
I miss my friend Kevin. In fact, he's who I feel the worst about leaving. He and I get along so well! He has a special place in mah <3. I wish I could bundle him up and put in my pocket! :(
Upon arriving at home I have so much to do, including fix some relationships (it's going to be rather difficult), try to be a kinder and more giving and gracious person (part of the fixing some relationships thing), make sure I own a car that doesn't feel like it's going to explode if I drive it a block, get a job for the next six months, finish my "verification" by the IRS, and enroll at Wichita State University. What a busy time I have ahead of me.
At least I'll be in a place where I can BREATHE (look up Korean yellow dust on Google).
Alright, I have to go get ready for school now...not that I'm going to be much of a teacher today with my cracking voice. The kids already make fun of me enough as it is. They're bound to be little shits about my voice today. Oh kids, golden little fuckers aren't they? :P
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The dangers of being side tracked
I get side tracked way too often.
Even for this blog. I've been meaning to write it for the past few days, but whenever I get on I get a facebook notification or I get interested in someone elses blog and then I don't have time to write a new blog anymore. :(
What a bitch!
Life? Same. Work? Same. Emotions. On a bit of a flux. I've been going in and out of this state of minor to slightly severe depression as of late. The boyfrined is staying with me, so with him there I don't get as sad as I think I would alone.
That being said, it's strange to be depressed while at the same time trying to please and take care of another person. Pretending to be happy bites.
I'm reading this thuroughly engrossing novel by Andrew Davidson called The Gargoyle. It's beautifully written, which means that the authors is most likely a creep who gets off on his own writing. Why can't authors be hot? I never undersoon.
The novel is about a man who gets in a car accident and sufferes from massive burns across most of his body. After the accident he is confronted by a woman who swears that he saved her life in another life. It's really fascinating really. I'm having trouble putting it down. However, I'm also having trouble finding time to read. :/
Recently an old friend of mine has gotten in contact with me once more. While in the past we had a huge falling out, I think we're acting pretty maturely about it. It's good. I've kind of missed having someone who knows how I act and knows what's funny. I miss her.
The only problem with our relationship is that she came to love me. I can say over and over that it's not my fault (which it's not) but it doesn't really solve the problem. I guess in a way, I lead her on, but she knew from the beginning that I preferred sexual intercorse with the same sex. There were times when I was drunk that I said outlandish things that I never recalled in the morning, but I never wanted her to fall in love with me. I as just being nice. I feel, in a way, she just wanted it so badly that she made herself believe I said and meant those things. For instance, I never said I was IN love with her. I just said I loved her, but she heared what she wanted to hear.
It's not about placing blame. I'm definitely at fault for the way I handled it.
But that's in the past. I hope we're working towards renewing that friendship. She's the only one who ever just got me. You know? Just like, I didn't have to say anything, she just understoond what was going on in my head na din my heart. Here's to working it out. ^^
I've been having trouble getting motivated for the gym. I need someone to just tell me what the fuck I need to do there. I go to the gym and I stare around at all the stuff and I try to think, what can I do that will give me the best results? I feel like I go and I waste my time there. I need some advice. When should I put more weights on the bar? How much? What lifts should I do? How do I lift them correctly? *sigh*
I think I'm going to go online and go to a forum and try and get some help. Maybe someone who knows what they're doing can give me some help.
I'm going to go to my first gay pride parade tomorrow. By first, I mean my first adult one. My mother, who is lesbian, took me to one when I was little. I don't remember much. All I remember was eating honey straight off of the comb and seeing lesbians putting their hands down their partners pants while wearing leather and riding motor bikes. Fantastic! :P
I'm not sure about this pride fest. It's in Korea, one of the most conservatives non-conservative country out there. Homosexually is not excepted here. There's going to be a parade, and some events and then everyone is going to the gay clubs. I'd love to attend but I have to pay to replace my bathroom door so I have to go home before the clubbing starts. I can't afford to stay in a motel over night.
That's what I fear, that the real party is going to be at the place I'm NOT going to. :(
Since I mentioned it, I somehow got locked in my bathroom door with the boyfriend and we had to break a hole in it to get out. I have to pay 140,000 won for it, which is abotu $140. It stinks. :(
On the plus side I bought an xbox 360! ^^ It was terribly expensive but I have games to play. :P Weeee!
Even for this blog. I've been meaning to write it for the past few days, but whenever I get on I get a facebook notification or I get interested in someone elses blog and then I don't have time to write a new blog anymore. :(
What a bitch!
Life? Same. Work? Same. Emotions. On a bit of a flux. I've been going in and out of this state of minor to slightly severe depression as of late. The boyfrined is staying with me, so with him there I don't get as sad as I think I would alone.
That being said, it's strange to be depressed while at the same time trying to please and take care of another person. Pretending to be happy bites.
I'm reading this thuroughly engrossing novel by Andrew Davidson called The Gargoyle. It's beautifully written, which means that the authors is most likely a creep who gets off on his own writing. Why can't authors be hot? I never undersoon.
The novel is about a man who gets in a car accident and sufferes from massive burns across most of his body. After the accident he is confronted by a woman who swears that he saved her life in another life. It's really fascinating really. I'm having trouble putting it down. However, I'm also having trouble finding time to read. :/
Recently an old friend of mine has gotten in contact with me once more. While in the past we had a huge falling out, I think we're acting pretty maturely about it. It's good. I've kind of missed having someone who knows how I act and knows what's funny. I miss her.
The only problem with our relationship is that she came to love me. I can say over and over that it's not my fault (which it's not) but it doesn't really solve the problem. I guess in a way, I lead her on, but she knew from the beginning that I preferred sexual intercorse with the same sex. There were times when I was drunk that I said outlandish things that I never recalled in the morning, but I never wanted her to fall in love with me. I as just being nice. I feel, in a way, she just wanted it so badly that she made herself believe I said and meant those things. For instance, I never said I was IN love with her. I just said I loved her, but she heared what she wanted to hear.
It's not about placing blame. I'm definitely at fault for the way I handled it.
But that's in the past. I hope we're working towards renewing that friendship. She's the only one who ever just got me. You know? Just like, I didn't have to say anything, she just understoond what was going on in my head na din my heart. Here's to working it out. ^^
I've been having trouble getting motivated for the gym. I need someone to just tell me what the fuck I need to do there. I go to the gym and I stare around at all the stuff and I try to think, what can I do that will give me the best results? I feel like I go and I waste my time there. I need some advice. When should I put more weights on the bar? How much? What lifts should I do? How do I lift them correctly? *sigh*
I think I'm going to go online and go to a forum and try and get some help. Maybe someone who knows what they're doing can give me some help.
I'm going to go to my first gay pride parade tomorrow. By first, I mean my first adult one. My mother, who is lesbian, took me to one when I was little. I don't remember much. All I remember was eating honey straight off of the comb and seeing lesbians putting their hands down their partners pants while wearing leather and riding motor bikes. Fantastic! :P
I'm not sure about this pride fest. It's in Korea, one of the most conservatives non-conservative country out there. Homosexually is not excepted here. There's going to be a parade, and some events and then everyone is going to the gay clubs. I'd love to attend but I have to pay to replace my bathroom door so I have to go home before the clubbing starts. I can't afford to stay in a motel over night.
That's what I fear, that the real party is going to be at the place I'm NOT going to. :(
Since I mentioned it, I somehow got locked in my bathroom door with the boyfriend and we had to break a hole in it to get out. I have to pay 140,000 won for it, which is abotu $140. It stinks. :(
On the plus side I bought an xbox 360! ^^ It was terribly expensive but I have games to play. :P Weeee!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Five more steamy ones
Alright! Here come another five interestingly different things about Korean culture I've seen. I do hope you deem them original and interesting.
(This blog [as I've reached the end and am writing this] I have come to realize seems a little stabbie towards Korean culture. Just understand that not EVERYONE is a culprit of these personal cultural oddities. They are just some things I have experienced.)
1. Lack of confidentiality.
This one goes without having to be said. In western culture, we have (for the most part) this great radar that tell us weather or not we ought to indulge others in someones personal matters. For instance, if you were sexually harassed you wouldn't want the school you work for to inform not only the entire faculty, but also the student body and then be asked to write a paper on it. No. One would even imagine that such indicators as heavy crying and pulling you away from class to speak to you about presaid situation would be enough to merit privacy. Oh no! Juicy gossip like that spreads like wildfire!
2. Facial hair
Before I begin, isn't the above image delicious? Now, one wouldn't believe it, but 수염 (facial hair) is widely frowned upon here. So, if you're a man with a mean five o'clock shadow, beware. I'm not entirely sure why it has such a negative connotation. Perhaps it's because Korean men severely lack the ability to grow any body hair at all, let alone facial hair. However, something to be considered normal upon the face of a man is quickly considered deeply immoral in Korean society. When I first didn't shave, all of my coworkers asked me thing like, "Did you sleep last night?" "Did you break up with your girlfriend?" "Did you drink soju last night?" No. I none of those things occurred. I just woke up and didn't feel like razing off half of my face to be clean cut today. So sue me. It gets hard to shave everyday when it grows back so fast. That and I have a particularly delicate face (because I am a fragile flower after all) and I break out badly if I shave constantly. However, Some of my coworkers literally called me dirty and many of the students commented on it quite verbally. I even had one girl once who felt my facial hair and screamed outright as if it were a living thin on my face that was going to consume her. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it scratches.
3. Adult bedtimes
I had some difficulty finding an adequate picture for this one so you're just going to have to deal with the above (on a side note, why does there even exist an International Society for Men Who Still Live With Their Parents? Is it really that in need of support. I feel like quite the opposite should be enforced). Now, this one is a tad strange and I really can't get over it. It's true, in the States, the norm for a person living with their family is getting higher. It used to be between 18 and 20 that kids left the house. However, now that we live in the age of copious amounts of University work, the age is becoming quite older, possibly up to the late 20s. Personally, I feel like past the age of 25 and you really need to get out of there. I don't have much room to talk, but I'm not living with my parents either (though I'm still a tad dependent up on them). I would imagine most people to agree with me.
The situation is a bit different here in k-town. Instead, the cut-off date is extended indefinitely until the individual is married. So, in essence, you are living with your family until you tie the knot. Maybe it's supposed to act as inspiration to get you to marry quickly, but even marriage age is quite low here. By around the age of 25 you need to be thinking of settling down and poppin' some youguns out. The thing is, not everyone is so lucky as to find someone marriage worthy so quickly. So, I've seen men (and I'm sure women) who are between the ages of 30 to 40 still living with their parents, still having their mother call them to come home for dinner, and forcing them to have ridiculous bed times. Cute, but rather annoying...or so I'd assume.
4. Disregard for the existence of others.
I don't mean this literally. There aren't a bunch of people running around going, "You don't exist, you don't exist!". Rather, what I mean is that common courtesies are a little hard to come by here. Don't get me wrong, I have had nice strangers give me yogurt drinks on buses and say hello to me on the street. But here, I have had my fair share of doors close right on my face. Age is an important aspect of life in Korea, so the older they are, in most cases the more comfortable they are with abandoning such simple courtesies as stepping out of your way when you're walking the correct way on the sidewalk and they are obviously not. Many Korean's don't believe in opening the door for others and especially, closing the door for others. In fact, today I was eating lunch and one of the kids left the door to the cafeteria open. All of the teachers commented on how cold it was but not a single one of them got up to close the door. I had to do it myself. I've seen this done in many places like restaurants, train and bus terminals, and classrooms.
I also work out in a gym, and not once have I seen the weights rearranged, put back into place, or removed off of bars. Instead, the weights are merely shifted around the place and you just have to search high and low for what you need. As well, if you're in the middle of a set (it's kind of obvious...because, you know, you're using the equipment and everyone can see that) no one gives two shits if you're done with it. They want the damn bench press, they're gonna take it over. At first, I thought it was a language barrier thing, but I've seen it done to everyone. Eventually I managed to shed my weak western pushoverness and just did the same thing when they stole my equipment. It still urkes me though!
5. Internet explorer...only...we're serious.
Korea is obsessed with Windows. Even more, their obsessed with internet explorer. Yes, you can use other browsers, but if you want to, say, order a pizza online from pizza hut, you're going to need to do it on internet explorer. Places just don't format their websites to be friendly towards browsers like firefox, safari and (my personal favorite) chrome. I've had sites crash, freak out, or even refuse to load because I'm not using the obviously "better" browser. However, if you're like me and any other of my friends, you probably don't like internet explorer much, let alone use it. And trust me, you won't want to come here with a macbook unless it has mac windows installed. You'll never have a use for it here. It's not necessarily that bad, it's just more or less inconvenient. Like...internet explorer is evil (hence the black internet explorer icon displayed above).
(This blog [as I've reached the end and am writing this] I have come to realize seems a little stabbie towards Korean culture. Just understand that not EVERYONE is a culprit of these personal cultural oddities. They are just some things I have experienced.)
1. Lack of confidentiality.
This one goes without having to be said. In western culture, we have (for the most part) this great radar that tell us weather or not we ought to indulge others in someones personal matters. For instance, if you were sexually harassed you wouldn't want the school you work for to inform not only the entire faculty, but also the student body and then be asked to write a paper on it. No. One would even imagine that such indicators as heavy crying and pulling you away from class to speak to you about presaid situation would be enough to merit privacy. Oh no! Juicy gossip like that spreads like wildfire!
2. Facial hair
Before I begin, isn't the above image delicious? Now, one wouldn't believe it, but 수염 (facial hair) is widely frowned upon here. So, if you're a man with a mean five o'clock shadow, beware. I'm not entirely sure why it has such a negative connotation. Perhaps it's because Korean men severely lack the ability to grow any body hair at all, let alone facial hair. However, something to be considered normal upon the face of a man is quickly considered deeply immoral in Korean society. When I first didn't shave, all of my coworkers asked me thing like, "Did you sleep last night?" "Did you break up with your girlfriend?" "Did you drink soju last night?" No. I none of those things occurred. I just woke up and didn't feel like razing off half of my face to be clean cut today. So sue me. It gets hard to shave everyday when it grows back so fast. That and I have a particularly delicate face (because I am a fragile flower after all) and I break out badly if I shave constantly. However, Some of my coworkers literally called me dirty and many of the students commented on it quite verbally. I even had one girl once who felt my facial hair and screamed outright as if it were a living thin on my face that was going to consume her. Don't worry, it doesn't bite, it scratches.
3. Adult bedtimes
I had some difficulty finding an adequate picture for this one so you're just going to have to deal with the above (on a side note, why does there even exist an International Society for Men Who Still Live With Their Parents? Is it really that in need of support. I feel like quite the opposite should be enforced). Now, this one is a tad strange and I really can't get over it. It's true, in the States, the norm for a person living with their family is getting higher. It used to be between 18 and 20 that kids left the house. However, now that we live in the age of copious amounts of University work, the age is becoming quite older, possibly up to the late 20s. Personally, I feel like past the age of 25 and you really need to get out of there. I don't have much room to talk, but I'm not living with my parents either (though I'm still a tad dependent up on them). I would imagine most people to agree with me.
The situation is a bit different here in k-town. Instead, the cut-off date is extended indefinitely until the individual is married. So, in essence, you are living with your family until you tie the knot. Maybe it's supposed to act as inspiration to get you to marry quickly, but even marriage age is quite low here. By around the age of 25 you need to be thinking of settling down and poppin' some youguns out. The thing is, not everyone is so lucky as to find someone marriage worthy so quickly. So, I've seen men (and I'm sure women) who are between the ages of 30 to 40 still living with their parents, still having their mother call them to come home for dinner, and forcing them to have ridiculous bed times. Cute, but rather annoying...or so I'd assume.
4. Disregard for the existence of others.
I don't mean this literally. There aren't a bunch of people running around going, "You don't exist, you don't exist!". Rather, what I mean is that common courtesies are a little hard to come by here. Don't get me wrong, I have had nice strangers give me yogurt drinks on buses and say hello to me on the street. But here, I have had my fair share of doors close right on my face. Age is an important aspect of life in Korea, so the older they are, in most cases the more comfortable they are with abandoning such simple courtesies as stepping out of your way when you're walking the correct way on the sidewalk and they are obviously not. Many Korean's don't believe in opening the door for others and especially, closing the door for others. In fact, today I was eating lunch and one of the kids left the door to the cafeteria open. All of the teachers commented on how cold it was but not a single one of them got up to close the door. I had to do it myself. I've seen this done in many places like restaurants, train and bus terminals, and classrooms.
I also work out in a gym, and not once have I seen the weights rearranged, put back into place, or removed off of bars. Instead, the weights are merely shifted around the place and you just have to search high and low for what you need. As well, if you're in the middle of a set (it's kind of obvious...because, you know, you're using the equipment and everyone can see that) no one gives two shits if you're done with it. They want the damn bench press, they're gonna take it over. At first, I thought it was a language barrier thing, but I've seen it done to everyone. Eventually I managed to shed my weak western pushoverness and just did the same thing when they stole my equipment. It still urkes me though!
5. Internet explorer...only...we're serious.
Korea is obsessed with Windows. Even more, their obsessed with internet explorer. Yes, you can use other browsers, but if you want to, say, order a pizza online from pizza hut, you're going to need to do it on internet explorer. Places just don't format their websites to be friendly towards browsers like firefox, safari and (my personal favorite) chrome. I've had sites crash, freak out, or even refuse to load because I'm not using the obviously "better" browser. However, if you're like me and any other of my friends, you probably don't like internet explorer much, let alone use it. And trust me, you won't want to come here with a macbook unless it has mac windows installed. You'll never have a use for it here. It's not necessarily that bad, it's just more or less inconvenient. Like...internet explorer is evil (hence the black internet explorer icon displayed above).
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
My last blog was number 50
I only realize now after seeing that my last blog was my 50th.
Am I supposed to celebrate?
It's fun to come up with some reason to party it up, even if it's over really lame things.
I've noticed lately that all of the people who I had been following since my come to Korea on blogger have sort of, stopped blogging. Their blogs are now quite here and there and seem to have run out of proverbial fuel.
The same goes for me. I just haven't had the urge to blog. It's boring to post the same boring stuff that happens day after day. What's sad is that's all your adult life really is. Same old, same old. I really wish I had enjoyed my childhood more often.
I stupidly thought that I was going to be able to remain in Korea for however long I wanted. I'm sad that I was very sorely mistaken. The requirements for me to get an E-2 visa in Korea without being with the TaLK program involves my return to the states to finish my bachelors.
I can't complain. At first, I was very very upset. The idea of leaving my boyfriend who I had worked so hard to attain and the life I had grown to really enjoy here just seemed unbearable. Now, I'm beginning to get the pre-school jitters. The idea of starting again doing something new is exciting.
Most importantly though, I'm just excited to get my bachelors. I want to be done. I just want to have that stupid piece of paper so that I can say I wasted my money and my time in a facility just so I can work in this country.
I've really grown to love Korea. I'm going to be in tears when I leave this place. But two short years and I'll be back again, teaching it up for the furthering of this beautiful and in many ways strange country.
I have to go to K-State though (because that's the only place I had filled everything out for). It's not that I don't want to go there, but WSU is far closer to my hometown and thusly I would get to see my family more. Oh well!
I was applying for an online college called Ashford University. It was all going swimmingly until all of the sudden at once they hit me with all of this paperwork and all of these deadlines and I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. So, I opted for a return home instead.
In regards to myself, I think it will be good. It will give me a chance to get all of those college feelings of partying out of my system. This will be my last chance to just whip it out and have fun and be crazy for two more years before I have to settle back into the humdrum of adult life once again.
Let's just hope I don't lose site of my goals and that my present relationship can stand the test of distance. I'm keeping my eyes up, looking out towards the future. Here's to making our dreams come true.
Am I supposed to celebrate?
It's fun to come up with some reason to party it up, even if it's over really lame things.
I've noticed lately that all of the people who I had been following since my come to Korea on blogger have sort of, stopped blogging. Their blogs are now quite here and there and seem to have run out of proverbial fuel.
The same goes for me. I just haven't had the urge to blog. It's boring to post the same boring stuff that happens day after day. What's sad is that's all your adult life really is. Same old, same old. I really wish I had enjoyed my childhood more often.
I stupidly thought that I was going to be able to remain in Korea for however long I wanted. I'm sad that I was very sorely mistaken. The requirements for me to get an E-2 visa in Korea without being with the TaLK program involves my return to the states to finish my bachelors.
I can't complain. At first, I was very very upset. The idea of leaving my boyfriend who I had worked so hard to attain and the life I had grown to really enjoy here just seemed unbearable. Now, I'm beginning to get the pre-school jitters. The idea of starting again doing something new is exciting.
Most importantly though, I'm just excited to get my bachelors. I want to be done. I just want to have that stupid piece of paper so that I can say I wasted my money and my time in a facility just so I can work in this country.
I've really grown to love Korea. I'm going to be in tears when I leave this place. But two short years and I'll be back again, teaching it up for the furthering of this beautiful and in many ways strange country.
I have to go to K-State though (because that's the only place I had filled everything out for). It's not that I don't want to go there, but WSU is far closer to my hometown and thusly I would get to see my family more. Oh well!
I was applying for an online college called Ashford University. It was all going swimmingly until all of the sudden at once they hit me with all of this paperwork and all of these deadlines and I freaked out. I couldn't handle it. So, I opted for a return home instead.
In regards to myself, I think it will be good. It will give me a chance to get all of those college feelings of partying out of my system. This will be my last chance to just whip it out and have fun and be crazy for two more years before I have to settle back into the humdrum of adult life once again.
Let's just hope I don't lose site of my goals and that my present relationship can stand the test of distance. I'm keeping my eyes up, looking out towards the future. Here's to making our dreams come true.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
My Quest!
Despite the fact that I'm doing quite well these days, I've been terribly unmotivated to update my blog. This mindset seems to still continue. I'm not going to lie, I really didn't feel up to writing this one, nevertheless, here we are.
My brain works non-stop.
Constantly I try to wrangle, or rope it in (to reference my cowboy Kansan up bringin'. Yeeehaaaaw!) if you will, but I try to do things like, you know, sleep or concentrate, and I really just seem avidly incapable of doing so. Instead my mind whirs and turns, thinking up new ideas for what I want to do with my life, my money, my boyfriend.
I didn't mention that. Oh, woops. I have a partner, significant other, 남자친구, bf. I really could ramble on if you'd like. He's a rather cute boy who I'm very excited to be dating. Yes he's Korean. No, English is not his mother tongue. We tough it out to say the least.
However, because of presaid bf, I seem to be low on funds. Let's face it, who wants to say indoors all the time (though, staying indoors has it's benefits. Eh...EEEH *nudge* *wink*)? However, our pure minds seek entertainment elsewhere, and where else better than the other side of my strangely arranged (my apartment is funky and oblonged shaped) four walls.
I can't complain. What a thrilling way to use my money!
I recently got a perm. Want to see it? Take a look.
It was a nice, do-it-once-in-my-life, sort of opportunity, so now I look like an adjuma as my students so kindly put (means old lady...or ma'am if we want to get technical). Let's just say I don't think I'll be permin' it up every 6 months for the rest of my life.
They changed my classroom (which granted, was more of a library and less of a classroom) into a homeroom classroom, so guess where they decided to stick me?
I've never felt less at home in a closet in my life.
Now, the closet is quite large though. It's probably the size of a nice office, but it's packed full of stuff no one knew what to do with. That, and it's also the sound room, so the main speaker system is there. To cherry top it all off, the strictly speaking Korean adjuma (what does that mean kids?) cleaning lady shares the office with me. So, atop of getting a nice view of traditional garb, drums and the sound system, I'm constantly bathed in the waters of awkward, language barrier induced silence. Joys.
It had been ages without a computer set up in there, and though I continually to almost throat-throttling annoyance reminded my superiors I was without a computer, my pleas seemed to fall on conveniently deaf ears (wait, is that the sound of tea being stirred? How leaps and bounds more riveting then listening to the foreign English teacher. Excuse me. *tink* *tink*).
So, I rolled up my sleeves and took the very proud initiative to assembled the computer that is now resting quietly in my office/closet/catch-all room-thing. I say assemble because, well, I did just that. At times I felt that my assembly was more of a quest or scavenger hunt more than anything else. I had to find an outlet amidst mountains of boxes. Find an extension cord. Locate a monitor (there were four in my room but I had to find an actually working one), mouse (which involved me nicking one from one of the plethora in the computer lab..huhuh!) and discovering the location of an ethernet cable.
Finally, upon full completion of my task, I got the tech guy to come in and hook up internet onto my Frankenstein beauty (HE LIVES!). Regrettably, I had to leave to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to see my creation in full working order, but I'm crossing my fingers for some internet tomorrow. Score!
As for anything else that has been happening in my life? Well, luckily there is much time in it (in regards to my life...I hope [in regards to the time left in my afore mentioned life]) and thusly, will have many more blogs to fill up in the mean time. So, cheers, adieu, yack atchya later, toodles (must this carry on again!?) ciao, anyeong, deuces, etc., etc....
My brain works non-stop.
Constantly I try to wrangle, or rope it in (to reference my cowboy Kansan up bringin'. Yeeehaaaaw!) if you will, but I try to do things like, you know, sleep or concentrate, and I really just seem avidly incapable of doing so. Instead my mind whirs and turns, thinking up new ideas for what I want to do with my life, my money, my boyfriend.
I didn't mention that. Oh, woops. I have a partner, significant other, 남자친구, bf. I really could ramble on if you'd like. He's a rather cute boy who I'm very excited to be dating. Yes he's Korean. No, English is not his mother tongue. We tough it out to say the least.
However, because of presaid bf, I seem to be low on funds. Let's face it, who wants to say indoors all the time (though, staying indoors has it's benefits. Eh...EEEH *nudge* *wink*)? However, our pure minds seek entertainment elsewhere, and where else better than the other side of my strangely arranged (my apartment is funky and oblonged shaped) four walls.
I can't complain. What a thrilling way to use my money!
I recently got a perm. Want to see it? Take a look.
It was a nice, do-it-once-in-my-life, sort of opportunity, so now I look like an adjuma as my students so kindly put (means old lady...or ma'am if we want to get technical). Let's just say I don't think I'll be permin' it up every 6 months for the rest of my life.
They changed my classroom (which granted, was more of a library and less of a classroom) into a homeroom classroom, so guess where they decided to stick me?
I've never felt less at home in a closet in my life.
Now, the closet is quite large though. It's probably the size of a nice office, but it's packed full of stuff no one knew what to do with. That, and it's also the sound room, so the main speaker system is there. To cherry top it all off, the strictly speaking Korean adjuma (what does that mean kids?) cleaning lady shares the office with me. So, atop of getting a nice view of traditional garb, drums and the sound system, I'm constantly bathed in the waters of awkward, language barrier induced silence. Joys.
It had been ages without a computer set up in there, and though I continually to almost throat-throttling annoyance reminded my superiors I was without a computer, my pleas seemed to fall on conveniently deaf ears (wait, is that the sound of tea being stirred? How leaps and bounds more riveting then listening to the foreign English teacher. Excuse me. *tink* *tink*).
So, I rolled up my sleeves and took the very proud initiative to assembled the computer that is now resting quietly in my office/closet/catch-all room-thing. I say assemble because, well, I did just that. At times I felt that my assembly was more of a quest or scavenger hunt more than anything else. I had to find an outlet amidst mountains of boxes. Find an extension cord. Locate a monitor (there were four in my room but I had to find an actually working one), mouse (which involved me nicking one from one of the plethora in the computer lab..huhuh!) and discovering the location of an ethernet cable.
Finally, upon full completion of my task, I got the tech guy to come in and hook up internet onto my Frankenstein beauty (HE LIVES!). Regrettably, I had to leave to catch my train, so I didn't get the chance to see my creation in full working order, but I'm crossing my fingers for some internet tomorrow. Score!
As for anything else that has been happening in my life? Well, luckily there is much time in it (in regards to my life...I hope [in regards to the time left in my afore mentioned life]) and thusly, will have many more blogs to fill up in the mean time. So, cheers, adieu, yack atchya later, toodles (must this carry on again!?) ciao, anyeong, deuces, etc., etc....
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Gay club
I've been suffering from extreme feelings of fickleness that I'm almost repulsed by myself.
I think it took someone saying it for me to really understand that I really am fickle. I can NEVER make up my mind, and when I do I switch it so quickly. I'm a bit notorious for choosing something, changing my mind, switching, and then changing my mind again and going back to the original.
I'm trying though, to not let it ruin anything these days. When I begin to have second thoughts I try to veer my thoughts into a more positive vein. Nothing that bad or that good can come from changing my mind. I should just ride the wave I've provoked.
I went to Icheon during Korean lunar new year (seolal) to see the best gay person I have ever met in my entire life. I'm pretty sure that he and I have very close to the same personality. We get along quite well and the way we talk is just golden. I could never ask for a better friend.
Now that I'm done glorifying him, we hung out in his apartment, mostly getting drunk, playing xbox, talking and eating. I'm excited to do this all over again soon!
Eventually we met up with his boyfriend who turned out to also be really cool (but we didn't connect as well) and we all hung out together, eventually heading off to Seoul to check out gay culture in Korea.
Now, granted, I live in Korea, one of the worst places in the world to be gay. So it's safe to say I didn't have high hopes when I first set off for my first piece of gay culture.
First, we went to an entirely gay coffee shop. At first hearing of this place, I immediately thought, what a great idea! But when I got there, the energy in the room was just so...intense. It felt like I was being judged and everyone else in the room was being judged and I hated it. I really wished we could have left sooner but we were waiting for the motels to open so we could drop off our stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'll go again in the future, but not for longer than like, 30-40 minutes tops. I just can't stand how GAY it was in there.
Anyway, so once we left the fag fest, we departed to our hotel, pre-gamed with some soju and mekju (beer) and headed off to what I quickly discovered on arrival, another fag fest.
We went to a gay bar called Pulse...it isn't an entirely gay club, but mostly gay guys go soo...not too many straighties to be seen. Anyway, long story short, I didn't have the best of times there. It go packed full of Koreans who really weren't interested in me (yes, I'm that vain) and so, I wanted to leave a bit earlier than I had predicted.
Next time I want to go to the hill, seeing as that's where the best gay places are. They're a bit smaller and you're capable of talking to each other in them so, that would be nice. ^^ Next time.
Let's hope next time I don't lose my friends and drunkenly fall on my knees a hundred times. :/
I think it took someone saying it for me to really understand that I really am fickle. I can NEVER make up my mind, and when I do I switch it so quickly. I'm a bit notorious for choosing something, changing my mind, switching, and then changing my mind again and going back to the original.
I'm trying though, to not let it ruin anything these days. When I begin to have second thoughts I try to veer my thoughts into a more positive vein. Nothing that bad or that good can come from changing my mind. I should just ride the wave I've provoked.
I went to Icheon during Korean lunar new year (seolal) to see the best gay person I have ever met in my entire life. I'm pretty sure that he and I have very close to the same personality. We get along quite well and the way we talk is just golden. I could never ask for a better friend.
Now that I'm done glorifying him, we hung out in his apartment, mostly getting drunk, playing xbox, talking and eating. I'm excited to do this all over again soon!
Eventually we met up with his boyfriend who turned out to also be really cool (but we didn't connect as well) and we all hung out together, eventually heading off to Seoul to check out gay culture in Korea.
Now, granted, I live in Korea, one of the worst places in the world to be gay. So it's safe to say I didn't have high hopes when I first set off for my first piece of gay culture.
First, we went to an entirely gay coffee shop. At first hearing of this place, I immediately thought, what a great idea! But when I got there, the energy in the room was just so...intense. It felt like I was being judged and everyone else in the room was being judged and I hated it. I really wished we could have left sooner but we were waiting for the motels to open so we could drop off our stuff. Don't get me wrong, I'll go again in the future, but not for longer than like, 30-40 minutes tops. I just can't stand how GAY it was in there.
Anyway, so once we left the fag fest, we departed to our hotel, pre-gamed with some soju and mekju (beer) and headed off to what I quickly discovered on arrival, another fag fest.
We went to a gay bar called Pulse...it isn't an entirely gay club, but mostly gay guys go soo...not too many straighties to be seen. Anyway, long story short, I didn't have the best of times there. It go packed full of Koreans who really weren't interested in me (yes, I'm that vain) and so, I wanted to leave a bit earlier than I had predicted.
Next time I want to go to the hill, seeing as that's where the best gay places are. They're a bit smaller and you're capable of talking to each other in them so, that would be nice. ^^ Next time.
Let's hope next time I don't lose my friends and drunkenly fall on my knees a hundred times. :/
Monday, January 24, 2011
Elaboration on past events.
I had been debating it for an exorbitant length of time, but I've decided, why not, I'll learn Korean.
Trust me my friends and faithful followers that it has not been a cake walk but a slippery winding slope filled with pitfall errors and blush-worthy mistakes. Yet onwards I trudge through the illogical grammar structured forests of Hangul, machete pen in hand, hacking at the oncoming vocabulary that assaults me like flies to a steamy pile of curly Korean poo.
Though I travel through this safari, this jungle, this wilderness of an unknown language, though I'll suffer from bruised pride and bloody moral understanding, though I shall never resurface unscathed and unchanged, I will survive. Will I be the same Steven you have grown to love? Time is our only judge.
...
Korean is really hard! :) When I first arrived in Korea, I decided I would learn it, then I got here and was like, "Umm...no," and haven't touched the subject with a 10 foot chopstick since.
Now that I've been here for six months, I believe it's time to reclaim my abandoned sword and rejoin the language fray (how many metaphors can I come up with?)! At the present moment I am attempting to be diligent in my studies and conducive to a learning environment in my apartment so that I can learn it quickly, efficiently and correctly (I hope).
I'm getting hung up on a few technicalities of the language, but I CAN formulate very, very, very rudimentary and elementary sentences, such as "I'm meeting my friend," and "I'm going home." Not fluent, but I have to say for Koreans intense difficulty, I'm pretty damn proud of myself! >.>
I went to Seoul with my friend Caitlin (featured above with none other than your humble author) to go see my friend Suhyun (feature below...devoid of me :/)
I was really glad we went, cause I haven't seen that Korean hoe since I was in the states. I missed her so much! She's kind of a little light in my life. My first Hangookeo Sansangnim (Korean Teacher) was Suhyun. It's because of her I can read Hangul. She holds a special place in my heart <3. :P
So, blah, blah, blah, we went out to a cafe in Insadong (one of the oldest streets in Koera! ooooo ahhhhh) and had tea and chatted for a really long time about home (Korea and Independence (where I was last in the states) respectively), learning Korean, life in general and where we were living now. It was oodles of fun and rainbow sunshine.
Me with my tea...scrumptious...the tea I mean. I know what all of YOU were thinking. :P
Caitlin's. It was supposed to be rose flavored but I'm pretty sure they mixed it with grass flavor. Just saying. It tasted like I licked a soccer field.
Suhyun's. Yummy citrus! :P
Mine. Apparently Chinese pear? It was good though!
Following tea we went to this pretty stellar mini shopping mall where we played around in stores. These are some of the most beautiful pictures I have EVER TAKEN!
Me. I'm Harry Potter, remember.
Caitlin. God yes!
Me, lookin' the epitome of the word sexy. Mhmmm. I know whachyou all sayin' 'bout mah boooodeh.
Then, we went out to eat! Eating is fun! We all do it! So you can all relate! Doesn't it seem like I'm screaming with all of these exclamation points!?
(You shall get no pictures of this, seeing as blogger wants to be a fag and not upload my damned pictures!)
But of course, we topped off our entire meet and greet with a little noreabang. You know, cause we classy like that.
This is the only adequate picture I could find. The rest make us look oh so terrible. I won't subject anyone to that torture!
Suhyung sang Telephone by the Gag. :P I love you Suhyun!
Caitlin and I proceeded home. We took the subway, but of course we got stuck 20 minutes out of Seoul and had to stay in a love Motel.
Well, I've already blogged about that bit. I just wanted to elaborate on seeing the Korean LOVE OF MY LIFE (I really hope she reads this and I win brownie points :P)!
Will your fearless narrator ever return from the deep trenches of the Hangul unknown, or with he be torn limb from limb by ruthless, cut-throat Korean? We shall see my friends. We. Shall. See...
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Seoul and Korea's transit system
Yesterday I took a little excursion into Seoul.
The day already began off a little rough. I had spent the night at Caitlin's house and had woken up earlier than her to run home and put on warmer clothes seeing as yesterday was the coldest day of Korea's current winter.
I rushed to the terminal only to have Caitlin make me miss the express train. No biggie, it's only an extra 10 minutes. We went into Seoul, miscalculated our transfers, were cornered by a creepy, dirty man who kept calling Caitlin beautiful and refused to believe me when I said in Korean that I can't speak Korean, and ended up in a totally different station for our Korean friend to find us.
Not too bad. We're foreigners. It happens when you live in a country where you can't speak the language.
We had a lovely time with our mutual friend Suhyun. We hadn't seen her for about 6 months, since we left the states, and it was great catching up with her. She was the one who had warned us about the cold...and she was 100% correct. It was so cold yesterday! I even dressed for it and it couldn't be helped. I was shivering!
We explored Insadong which, I realized when I saw a restraunt I had eaten at, that I had been there during TaLK orientation which seems excessively distant in my past. We went to an expensive tea house, but it was worth it. Then, headed off to a cute little bar for dinner and soju. :) Oh the joys.
A little norebang later and it was time for us to be off. I had to teach in the morning, so we left with pleanty of time to catch the train back to Chuncheon.
On our way back to Sangbong station, we missed our stop on the green line and had to go back. A pain, but fixable. Then, we arrived, at last, at Sangbong for what would potentially be about an hour and ten minute ride back home.
However, 20 minutes into the ride, the train stopped at a random station and kicked us out. As we desperately cried, "Chuncheon!" their only reply was, "Bus or taxi."
It was 11:30ish by that time. No buses were running...nor do I believe we could have found a bus station in time to catch one if it was. 20 minutes out of Seoul meant that a taxi ride was surely out, so we had but one more option.
Sex motel.
Now, I'm not against the prospect of staying in a motel. It's really not that bad. It's just really embarassing to go up to a bunch of Koreans to ask where a motel is, when we all know what motels are REALLY for, especially in Korea. So, all of these Korean people thought Caitlin and I really just wanted to get it on, cause we were rather persistant in finding a motel...seeing as it was the coldest day of Korea's winter thus far. Our luck was dismal.
In the end, we had to take about a 5,000 won taxi ride at 12:00 to a motel. The motel is thankfully cheap. But you get what you paid for.
I have never been in a more unbearibly hot room. And that, my friends, is why I am writing this blog. Not because I partcularly care about telling you of my destestible fate, but because I've been laying in that same damn, hot bed for hours awake and can't stand to just lie there anymore.
I miss my apartment...and I have to teach children tomorrow. Today is going to bite. So...fucking...much...
The day already began off a little rough. I had spent the night at Caitlin's house and had woken up earlier than her to run home and put on warmer clothes seeing as yesterday was the coldest day of Korea's current winter.
I rushed to the terminal only to have Caitlin make me miss the express train. No biggie, it's only an extra 10 minutes. We went into Seoul, miscalculated our transfers, were cornered by a creepy, dirty man who kept calling Caitlin beautiful and refused to believe me when I said in Korean that I can't speak Korean, and ended up in a totally different station for our Korean friend to find us.
Not too bad. We're foreigners. It happens when you live in a country where you can't speak the language.
We had a lovely time with our mutual friend Suhyun. We hadn't seen her for about 6 months, since we left the states, and it was great catching up with her. She was the one who had warned us about the cold...and she was 100% correct. It was so cold yesterday! I even dressed for it and it couldn't be helped. I was shivering!
We explored Insadong which, I realized when I saw a restraunt I had eaten at, that I had been there during TaLK orientation which seems excessively distant in my past. We went to an expensive tea house, but it was worth it. Then, headed off to a cute little bar for dinner and soju. :) Oh the joys.
A little norebang later and it was time for us to be off. I had to teach in the morning, so we left with pleanty of time to catch the train back to Chuncheon.
On our way back to Sangbong station, we missed our stop on the green line and had to go back. A pain, but fixable. Then, we arrived, at last, at Sangbong for what would potentially be about an hour and ten minute ride back home.
However, 20 minutes into the ride, the train stopped at a random station and kicked us out. As we desperately cried, "Chuncheon!" their only reply was, "Bus or taxi."
It was 11:30ish by that time. No buses were running...nor do I believe we could have found a bus station in time to catch one if it was. 20 minutes out of Seoul meant that a taxi ride was surely out, so we had but one more option.
Sex motel.
Now, I'm not against the prospect of staying in a motel. It's really not that bad. It's just really embarassing to go up to a bunch of Koreans to ask where a motel is, when we all know what motels are REALLY for, especially in Korea. So, all of these Korean people thought Caitlin and I really just wanted to get it on, cause we were rather persistant in finding a motel...seeing as it was the coldest day of Korea's winter thus far. Our luck was dismal.
In the end, we had to take about a 5,000 won taxi ride at 12:00 to a motel. The motel is thankfully cheap. But you get what you paid for.
I have never been in a more unbearibly hot room. And that, my friends, is why I am writing this blog. Not because I partcularly care about telling you of my destestible fate, but because I've been laying in that same damn, hot bed for hours awake and can't stand to just lie there anymore.
I miss my apartment...and I have to teach children tomorrow. Today is going to bite. So...fucking...much...
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Ignorance is bliss?
Would you rather be lied to or just have someone be blatantly honest?
Both aren't the kindest means to the same end, but you just have to wonder.
I've been writing a lot of blogs lately. I just try to write when something's on my mind. Perhaps an explanation for the workings of my brain.
Recently I've had this question bouncing around the hard walls of my noggin (*ping**ping**ping*) and have really been considering if I'd rather someone lie to me or just flat out slap me in the face with the wet fish of honesty.
Example. Let's say your truly considering someone as a potential partner. YOU are. Irregardless of the other individuals feelings, that is your intent when you go to meet this person for, let's say, coffee (I'm not trying to outline a personal previous experience here, I just like coffee and going out for it :/).
Now, over your steaming mug of blazing hot coffee, you realize that you have no idea how the other person feels about this interactivity. You decide that now is as good a time as any to just bring it up so we can get to the sleeping together bit and not worry about all the messy stuff.
Is it better for the individual sitting across from you to be honest and say, "I know that you came here for coffee really to try and have a relationship with me, but I'm really not into it. I just want to have sex." or to lie and say, "I hope by us having sex later you don't feel like I'm using you," when in fact they are and are just trying to make you feel better when they buy your coffee for you.
Ahh, the question of it all. Sentence A I guess would put me off a little before bed time and leaves room for the potential of poor performance in the bed, seeing as I already know how everything is going to play out. Sentence B instills a shred of hope that, hey, maybe this could actually go somewhere for once.
I think I know what I'D rather hear in this play out. While sentence A is initially a bit cold hearted, at the very least the person is just being honest. They're letting you know where they stand and aren't trying to sugar coat anything. Besides, you still have the right to say, "Oh, well that's not what I'm looking for," and walk away from your coffee (but it was freeeee :().
Sentence A on the other hand, is a bit more heart shattering. With the inception (what a great movie) of the possibility of a potential relationship, comes the following thoughts that run through your mind. Did I perform well? I hope I'm not coming on too strong. Would I sound stupid if I said that? Is it alright to go to the toilet now? When will he/she get back to me? Is it bad to message him/her now or is it too soon? Why did I say THAT!? And then, finally, after it all, they never get back to you and for a few days your wondering if it meant SOMETHING between the two of you or not, because regrettably, it DID mean something to one of the party members because the truth was not outlined in the syllabus.
It's just safer to go with A. Leave the guess work at home kids, and be grown up adults.
...you never know how something is going to play out though. Sometimes, we can over-analyze things, it's part of being human. But sometimes, sometimes the truth is just a little bit more obvious, even if not presented right off the bat.
Both aren't the kindest means to the same end, but you just have to wonder.
I've been writing a lot of blogs lately. I just try to write when something's on my mind. Perhaps an explanation for the workings of my brain.
Recently I've had this question bouncing around the hard walls of my noggin (*ping**ping**ping*) and have really been considering if I'd rather someone lie to me or just flat out slap me in the face with the wet fish of honesty.
Example. Let's say your truly considering someone as a potential partner. YOU are. Irregardless of the other individuals feelings, that is your intent when you go to meet this person for, let's say, coffee (I'm not trying to outline a personal previous experience here, I just like coffee and going out for it :/).
Now, over your steaming mug of blazing hot coffee, you realize that you have no idea how the other person feels about this interactivity. You decide that now is as good a time as any to just bring it up so we can get to the sleeping together bit and not worry about all the messy stuff.
Is it better for the individual sitting across from you to be honest and say, "I know that you came here for coffee really to try and have a relationship with me, but I'm really not into it. I just want to have sex." or to lie and say, "I hope by us having sex later you don't feel like I'm using you," when in fact they are and are just trying to make you feel better when they buy your coffee for you.
Ahh, the question of it all. Sentence A I guess would put me off a little before bed time and leaves room for the potential of poor performance in the bed, seeing as I already know how everything is going to play out. Sentence B instills a shred of hope that, hey, maybe this could actually go somewhere for once.
I think I know what I'D rather hear in this play out. While sentence A is initially a bit cold hearted, at the very least the person is just being honest. They're letting you know where they stand and aren't trying to sugar coat anything. Besides, you still have the right to say, "Oh, well that's not what I'm looking for," and walk away from your coffee (but it was freeeee :().
Sentence A on the other hand, is a bit more heart shattering. With the inception (what a great movie) of the possibility of a potential relationship, comes the following thoughts that run through your mind. Did I perform well? I hope I'm not coming on too strong. Would I sound stupid if I said that? Is it alright to go to the toilet now? When will he/she get back to me? Is it bad to message him/her now or is it too soon? Why did I say THAT!? And then, finally, after it all, they never get back to you and for a few days your wondering if it meant SOMETHING between the two of you or not, because regrettably, it DID mean something to one of the party members because the truth was not outlined in the syllabus.
It's just safer to go with A. Leave the guess work at home kids, and be grown up adults.
...you never know how something is going to play out though. Sometimes, we can over-analyze things, it's part of being human. But sometimes, sometimes the truth is just a little bit more obvious, even if not presented right off the bat.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT...but so funny!
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Optimism, dumb decisions, English camp and good decisions.
One good moment can help you feel a little bit more optimistic.
And, with that single thread of optimism shall I fashion a robe to wear.
How poetic.
I'll attempt to keep from getting my hopes up. Lately that's mostly what I've succeeded in doing.
I made the mistake of meeting someone who I thought had potential. He came from Seoul down to Chuncheon. Foolishly, I believed that everything was going well. How naive of me to believe so.
In the end, this overbearing, attention seeking, bi-polar claiming guy laid one over on me. I guess even Korean guys can still be just as using and irregardless of others feelings as American ones. I'll make a note of that.
Luckily, I've had some positive experiences since that incident, but I'm still a little...I don't know...on edge. Lies are like air, you can't see them, but they're there...except we don't need lies to survive.
English camp is coming to a close and I'm actually getting a little sad over it. I've for once bonded goldenly with my students over this winter "break" (quotations because no one, according to American standards, could truly qualify it as such), especially with my 3rd and 4th graders, and I'm scared to see that fizzle away and see them return to the same way they were last semester that made me dislike them so.
My first and second graders...well...were primarily cute, but still rambunctious and a right handful, but were far better behaved then when in class with your teacher truly. Next three days is devoted entirely to my fifth and sixth graders, who I have high hopes for. In the past my favorite grade has been fifth, and seeing as their English proficiency is greater than the other youngsters, I hope we'll have some interesting interaction between us. Hopefully worthy of the word 'bonding'.
We'll see how these three days go.
I danced in my room just now, for half an hour to the fastest music I could find in my library. 1. Because I felt bad for not doing cardio in the gym and 2. To relieve some stress, though that hadn't been one of my intended goals to begin with.
Last night I went to Seoul for coffee with a friend. I had a great time and I think worth the lack of sleep I received because of it. He's off to Paris, France, a decision he made only a few days ago. Not something I would probably do, but all the power to him. :P
I really ought to start being more optimistic, even when I don't feel like it. Fake it till you make it. My dad had more good advice in him then I had ever realized as a child.
And, with that single thread of optimism shall I fashion a robe to wear.
How poetic.
I'll attempt to keep from getting my hopes up. Lately that's mostly what I've succeeded in doing.
I made the mistake of meeting someone who I thought had potential. He came from Seoul down to Chuncheon. Foolishly, I believed that everything was going well. How naive of me to believe so.
In the end, this overbearing, attention seeking, bi-polar claiming guy laid one over on me. I guess even Korean guys can still be just as using and irregardless of others feelings as American ones. I'll make a note of that.
Luckily, I've had some positive experiences since that incident, but I'm still a little...I don't know...on edge. Lies are like air, you can't see them, but they're there...except we don't need lies to survive.
English camp is coming to a close and I'm actually getting a little sad over it. I've for once bonded goldenly with my students over this winter "break" (quotations because no one, according to American standards, could truly qualify it as such), especially with my 3rd and 4th graders, and I'm scared to see that fizzle away and see them return to the same way they were last semester that made me dislike them so.
My first and second graders...well...were primarily cute, but still rambunctious and a right handful, but were far better behaved then when in class with your teacher truly. Next three days is devoted entirely to my fifth and sixth graders, who I have high hopes for. In the past my favorite grade has been fifth, and seeing as their English proficiency is greater than the other youngsters, I hope we'll have some interesting interaction between us. Hopefully worthy of the word 'bonding'.
We'll see how these three days go.
I danced in my room just now, for half an hour to the fastest music I could find in my library. 1. Because I felt bad for not doing cardio in the gym and 2. To relieve some stress, though that hadn't been one of my intended goals to begin with.
Last night I went to Seoul for coffee with a friend. I had a great time and I think worth the lack of sleep I received because of it. He's off to Paris, France, a decision he made only a few days ago. Not something I would probably do, but all the power to him. :P
I really ought to start being more optimistic, even when I don't feel like it. Fake it till you make it. My dad had more good advice in him then I had ever realized as a child.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
...I didn't put a title and now the web url is the lamest title for this blog...oh bother.
I've been feeling a little depressed lately. It's really silly of me to deny it. But, what can I say?
I just sort of wish there was an "appear offline" setting for real life. Then I wouldn't have to worry about people bothering with me. I put myself out there and then I come back with bloody nubs rather than laden hands.
I always like the guys who I somehow can't have. Strange isn't it? Or is that how everyone feels and I'm only constantly reiterating the obvious? I'm either settling for mediocre men, or I'm off chasing ones who never put a shred of emotion in our involvement.
Either way, playing the silly dating game is tiresome. You either seem like a whore, or you just try too hard, and in the end I'm left the same way as I began, empty handed.
So, I wrote this extravagantly emo poem about it.
Ahh, a slice of mentally messed-up madness. Enjoy:
A lash it stings.
A lick it sings.
The red transcends.
The feel ascends.
A wicked blow
to strike the page
is a mighty show
to break the cage.
However bars still bar the way,
still steel and solid, barring, lay.
Jab and jeer from fleshy faces
and force repeat of those same 10 paces.
But soon a cell shall come a mouth
and bars there mayhap teeth spring out.
Oh such a tasty morsel lies
his future long ago surmised.
Those hungry jaws shall creak to close
and munch and munch until the crunch
relaxes all his toes.
It will swallow down that bloody lunch
down a spiral hole.
There it will be oh so much,
so hard to bear your toll.
There, in depth, you'll falter from control
instead to land right at the feet
of you and you alone.
And as you rear you swollen head,
to survey your last surrounding,
that mirror will slowly stare you dead
till any utterance cease sounding.
I just sort of wish there was an "appear offline" setting for real life. Then I wouldn't have to worry about people bothering with me. I put myself out there and then I come back with bloody nubs rather than laden hands.
I always like the guys who I somehow can't have. Strange isn't it? Or is that how everyone feels and I'm only constantly reiterating the obvious? I'm either settling for mediocre men, or I'm off chasing ones who never put a shred of emotion in our involvement.
Either way, playing the silly dating game is tiresome. You either seem like a whore, or you just try too hard, and in the end I'm left the same way as I began, empty handed.
So, I wrote this extravagantly emo poem about it.
Ahh, a slice of mentally messed-up madness. Enjoy:
A lash it stings.
A lick it sings.
The red transcends.
The feel ascends.
A wicked blow
to strike the page
is a mighty show
to break the cage.
However bars still bar the way,
still steel and solid, barring, lay.
Jab and jeer from fleshy faces
and force repeat of those same 10 paces.
But soon a cell shall come a mouth
and bars there mayhap teeth spring out.
Oh such a tasty morsel lies
his future long ago surmised.
Those hungry jaws shall creak to close
and munch and munch until the crunch
relaxes all his toes.
It will swallow down that bloody lunch
down a spiral hole.
There it will be oh so much,
so hard to bear your toll.
There, in depth, you'll falter from control
instead to land right at the feet
of you and you alone.
And as you rear you swollen head,
to survey your last surrounding,
that mirror will slowly stare you dead
till any utterance cease sounding.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Update....and feeling a little...strange.
The more guys I talk to the more lonely I feel.
It seems absurd. I ought to be relishing all of the attention. However, I find myself a little put out.
Perhaps it's a constant reminder of how I haven't really had a real relationship with another person in over two years (unless we're counting one months failures. I think not), or perhaps that just when you find someone you think you might be able to work with they're taken or scared or ignorant and you're left to the more obvious, more tactless, more easy-to-attain individuals. It leaves me feeling a tad singular.
Why is it that you're attractive to everyone except the person you want to think you're attractive?
Life bites.
Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I'd like to be funny and witty in this one, but I'm sort of un-energetic so I'll just stick to the boring shit. :/ Sorry folks.
Despite how fascinating I'm sure you all believe my life is, it's not quite that interesting. Same old, same old. Inspiring the youth of tomorrow. Being the best teacher the world has seen and will ever know.
Right. :P Regrettably nothing in that vein has veered off course. It's all rather droll once you set into your routine and then you never even have to bat an eye as a child throws a pair of scissors your way. You just duck and keep on saying, "...and this is how you say English,"
"Eng-ri-shee!!"
I try very hard not to feel a failure.
But to the great achievement of Jesus' birth, I got the chance to have a two week long break which was thrilling in every sense of the meaning and I got the chance to rest, drink, hang out with friends, take the new train to Seoul...oh the life.
Those two weeks were filled with much fun. Much friend hanging out. Much soju. All was grand.
But Geumbyeon Elementary School reared it's ugly head once more.
So, I'm at English camp now, which isn't too difficult. In comparison, I'd rather teach the kids in this way, with two other Korean/English speakers there to save me from the scissors and the words (their both just as sharp...ouch!) :P.
I bought a new camera. You know, I'd like to say I'm not a compulsive buyer but I really am. I was just in a store randomly cause my friend from Japan wanted to go and then I walked out with an $800 camera in my possession. Jesus.
But I'm rather proud of it. I've been taking some pictures and it's so pretty. Its a Lumix DSLR with a swivel touch screen. It's everything I could ever have asked in a camera. $800 is cheap for that kind of contraption. It's sort of my replacement lover for the one I don't have. :( How sad.
And as such, I'll end there. Not too long, not too short, and exceedingly dull for a returning blog.
The Office is beautiful. The end.
It seems absurd. I ought to be relishing all of the attention. However, I find myself a little put out.
Perhaps it's a constant reminder of how I haven't really had a real relationship with another person in over two years (unless we're counting one months failures. I think not), or perhaps that just when you find someone you think you might be able to work with they're taken or scared or ignorant and you're left to the more obvious, more tactless, more easy-to-attain individuals. It leaves me feeling a tad singular.
Why is it that you're attractive to everyone except the person you want to think you're attractive?
Life bites.
Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I'd like to be funny and witty in this one, but I'm sort of un-energetic so I'll just stick to the boring shit. :/ Sorry folks.
Despite how fascinating I'm sure you all believe my life is, it's not quite that interesting. Same old, same old. Inspiring the youth of tomorrow. Being the best teacher the world has seen and will ever know.
Right. :P Regrettably nothing in that vein has veered off course. It's all rather droll once you set into your routine and then you never even have to bat an eye as a child throws a pair of scissors your way. You just duck and keep on saying, "...and this is how you say English,"
"Eng-ri-shee!!"
I try very hard not to feel a failure.
But to the great achievement of Jesus' birth, I got the chance to have a two week long break which was thrilling in every sense of the meaning and I got the chance to rest, drink, hang out with friends, take the new train to Seoul...oh the life.
Those two weeks were filled with much fun. Much friend hanging out. Much soju. All was grand.
But Geumbyeon Elementary School reared it's ugly head once more.
So, I'm at English camp now, which isn't too difficult. In comparison, I'd rather teach the kids in this way, with two other Korean/English speakers there to save me from the scissors and the words (their both just as sharp...ouch!) :P.
I bought a new camera. You know, I'd like to say I'm not a compulsive buyer but I really am. I was just in a store randomly cause my friend from Japan wanted to go and then I walked out with an $800 camera in my possession. Jesus.
But I'm rather proud of it. I've been taking some pictures and it's so pretty. Its a Lumix DSLR with a swivel touch screen. It's everything I could ever have asked in a camera. $800 is cheap for that kind of contraption. It's sort of my replacement lover for the one I don't have. :( How sad.
And as such, I'll end there. Not too long, not too short, and exceedingly dull for a returning blog.
The Office is beautiful. The end.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)