Elaboration on past events.

I had been debating it for an exorbitant length of time, but I've decided, why not, I'll learn Korean.

Trust me my friends and faithful followers that it has not been a cake walk but a slippery winding slope filled with pitfall errors and blush-worthy mistakes. Yet onwards I trudge through the illogical grammar structured forests of Hangul, machete pen in hand, hacking at the oncoming vocabulary that assaults me like flies to a steamy pile of curly Korean poo.

Though I travel through this safari, this jungle, this wilderness of an unknown language, though I'll suffer from bruised pride and bloody moral understanding, though I shall never resurface unscathed and unchanged, I will survive. Will I be the same Steven you have grown to love? Time is our only judge.

...

Korean is really hard! :) When I first arrived in Korea, I decided I would learn it, then I got here and was like, "Umm...no," and haven't touched the subject with a 10 foot chopstick since.

Now that I've been here for six months, I believe it's time to reclaim my abandoned sword and rejoin the language fray (how many metaphors can I come up with?)! At the present moment I am attempting to be diligent in my studies and conducive to a learning environment in my apartment so that I can learn it quickly, efficiently and correctly (I hope).

I'm getting hung up on a few technicalities of the language, but I CAN formulate very, very, very rudimentary and elementary sentences, such as "I'm meeting my friend," and "I'm going home." Not fluent, but I have to say for Koreans intense difficulty, I'm pretty damn proud of myself! >.>



I went to Seoul with my friend Caitlin (featured above with none other than your humble author) to go see my friend Suhyun (feature below...devoid of me :/)



I was really glad we went, cause I haven't seen that Korean hoe since I was in the states. I missed her so much! She's kind of a little light in my life. My first Hangookeo Sansangnim (Korean Teacher) was Suhyun. It's because of her I can read Hangul. She holds a special place in my heart <3. :P

So, blah, blah, blah, we went out to a cafe in Insadong (one of the oldest streets in Koera! ooooo ahhhhh) and had tea and chatted for a really long time about home (Korea and Independence (where I was last in the states) respectively), learning Korean, life in general and where we were living now. It was oodles of fun and rainbow sunshine.


Me with my tea...scrumptious...the tea I mean. I know what all of YOU were thinking. :P


Caitlin's. It was supposed to be rose flavored but I'm pretty sure they mixed it with grass flavor. Just saying. It tasted like I licked a soccer field.


Suhyun's. Yummy citrus! :P


Mine. Apparently Chinese pear? It was good though!

Following tea we went to this pretty stellar mini shopping mall where we played around in stores. These are some of the most beautiful pictures I have EVER TAKEN!


Me. I'm Harry Potter, remember.


Caitlin. God yes!


Me, lookin' the epitome of the word sexy. Mhmmm. I know whachyou all sayin' 'bout mah boooodeh.

Then, we went out to eat! Eating is fun! We all do it! So you can all relate! Doesn't it seem like I'm screaming with all of these exclamation points!?

(You shall get no pictures of this, seeing as blogger wants to be a fag and not upload my damned pictures!)

But of course, we topped off our entire meet and greet with a little noreabang. You know, cause we classy like that.


This is the only adequate picture I could find. The rest make us look oh so terrible. I won't subject anyone to that torture!


Suhyung sang Telephone by the Gag. :P I love you Suhyun!

Caitlin and I proceeded home. We took the subway, but of course we got stuck 20 minutes out of Seoul and had to stay in a love Motel.

Well, I've already blogged about that bit. I just wanted to elaborate on seeing the Korean LOVE OF MY LIFE (I really hope she reads this and I win brownie points :P)!

Will your fearless narrator ever return from the deep trenches of the Hangul unknown, or with he be torn limb from limb by ruthless, cut-throat Korean? We shall see my friends. We. Shall. See...

Seoul and Korea's transit system

Yesterday I took a little excursion into Seoul.

The day already began off a little rough. I had spent the night at Caitlin's house and had woken up earlier than her to run home and put on warmer clothes seeing as yesterday was the coldest day of Korea's current winter.

I rushed to the terminal only to have Caitlin make me miss the express train. No biggie, it's only an extra 10 minutes. We went into Seoul, miscalculated our transfers, were cornered by a creepy, dirty man who kept calling Caitlin beautiful and refused to believe me when I said in Korean that I can't speak Korean, and ended up in a totally different station for our Korean friend to find us.

Not too bad. We're foreigners. It happens when you live in a country where you can't speak the language.

We had a lovely time with our mutual friend Suhyun. We hadn't seen her for about 6 months, since we left the states, and it was great catching up with her. She was the one who had warned us about the cold...and she was 100% correct. It was so cold yesterday! I even dressed for it and it couldn't be helped. I was shivering!

We explored Insadong which, I realized when I saw a restraunt I had eaten at, that I had been there during TaLK orientation which seems excessively distant in my past. We went to an expensive tea house, but it was worth it. Then, headed off to a cute little bar for dinner and soju. :) Oh the joys.

A little norebang later and it was time for us to be off. I had to teach in the morning, so we left with pleanty of time to catch the train back to Chuncheon.

On our way back to Sangbong station, we missed our stop on the green line and had to go back. A pain, but fixable. Then, we arrived, at last, at Sangbong for what would potentially be about an hour and ten minute ride back home.

However, 20 minutes into the ride, the train stopped at a random station and kicked us out. As we desperately cried, "Chuncheon!" their only reply was, "Bus or taxi."

It was 11:30ish by that time. No buses were running...nor do I believe we could have found a bus station in time to catch one if it was. 20 minutes out of Seoul meant that a taxi ride was surely out, so we had but one more option.

Sex motel.

Now, I'm not against the prospect of staying in a motel. It's really not that bad. It's just really embarassing to go up to a bunch of Koreans to ask where a motel is, when we all know what motels are REALLY for, especially in Korea. So, all of these Korean people thought Caitlin and I really just wanted to get it on, cause we were rather persistant in finding a motel...seeing as it was the coldest day of Korea's winter thus far. Our luck was dismal.

In the end, we had to take about a 5,000 won taxi ride at 12:00 to a motel. The motel is thankfully cheap. But you get what you paid for.

I have never been in a more unbearibly hot room. And that, my friends, is why I am writing this blog. Not because I partcularly care about telling you of my destestible fate, but because I've been laying in that same damn, hot bed for hours awake and can't stand to just lie there anymore.

I miss my apartment...and I have to teach children tomorrow. Today is going to bite. So...fucking...much...

Ignorance is bliss?

Would you rather be lied to or just have someone be blatantly honest?

Both aren't the kindest means to the same end, but you just have to wonder.

I've been writing a lot of blogs lately. I just try to write when something's on my mind. Perhaps an explanation for the workings of my brain.

Recently I've had this question bouncing around the hard walls of my noggin (*ping**ping**ping*) and have really been considering if I'd rather someone lie to me or just flat out slap me in the face with the wet fish of honesty.

Example. Let's say your truly considering someone as a potential partner. YOU are. Irregardless of the other individuals feelings, that is your intent when you go to meet this person for, let's say, coffee (I'm not trying to outline a personal previous experience here, I just like coffee and going out for it :/).

Now, over your steaming mug of blazing hot coffee, you realize that you have no idea how the other person feels about this interactivity. You decide that now is as good a time as any to just bring it up so we can get to the sleeping together bit and not worry about all the messy stuff.

Is it better for the individual sitting across from you to be honest and say, "I know that you came here for coffee really to try and have a relationship with me, but I'm really not into it. I just want to have sex." or to lie and say, "I hope by us having sex later you don't feel like I'm using you," when in fact they are and are just trying to make you feel better when they buy your coffee for you.

Ahh, the question of it all. Sentence A I guess would put me off a little before bed time and leaves room for the potential of poor performance in the bed, seeing as I already know how everything is going to play out. Sentence B instills a shred of hope that, hey, maybe this could actually go somewhere for once.

I think I know what I'D rather hear in this play out. While sentence A is initially a bit cold hearted, at the very least the person is just being honest. They're letting you know where they stand and aren't trying to sugar coat anything. Besides, you still have the right to say, "Oh, well that's not what I'm looking for," and walk away from your coffee (but it was freeeee :().

Sentence A on the other hand, is a bit more heart shattering. With the inception (what a great movie) of the possibility of a potential relationship, comes the following thoughts that run through your mind. Did I perform well? I hope I'm not coming on too strong. Would I sound stupid if I said that? Is it alright to go to the toilet now? When will he/she get back to me? Is it bad to message him/her now or is it too soon? Why did I say THAT!? And then, finally, after it all, they never get back to you and for a few days your wondering if it meant SOMETHING between the two of you or not, because regrettably, it DID mean something to one of the party members because the truth was not outlined in the syllabus.

It's just safer to go with A. Leave the guess work at home kids, and be grown up adults.

...you never know how something is going to play out though. Sometimes, we can over-analyze things, it's part of being human. But sometimes, sometimes the truth is just a little bit more obvious, even if not presented right off the bat.

WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT...but so funny!

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Optimism, dumb decisions, English camp and good decisions.

One good moment can help you feel a little bit more optimistic.

And, with that single thread of optimism shall I fashion a robe to wear.

How poetic.

I'll attempt to keep from getting my hopes up. Lately that's mostly what I've succeeded in doing.

I made the mistake of meeting someone who I thought had potential. He came from Seoul down to Chuncheon. Foolishly, I believed that everything was going well. How naive of me to believe so.

In the end, this overbearing, attention seeking, bi-polar claiming guy laid one over on me. I guess even Korean guys can still be just as using and irregardless of others feelings as American ones. I'll make a note of that.

Luckily, I've had some positive experiences since that incident, but I'm still a little...I don't know...on edge. Lies are like air, you can't see them, but they're there...except we don't need lies to survive.

English camp is coming to a close and I'm actually getting a little sad over it. I've for once bonded goldenly with my students over this winter "break" (quotations because no one, according to American standards, could truly qualify it as such), especially with my 3rd and 4th graders, and I'm scared to see that fizzle away and see them return to the same way they were last semester that made me dislike them so.

My first and second graders...well...were primarily cute, but still rambunctious and a right handful, but were far better behaved then when in class with your teacher truly. Next three days is devoted entirely to my fifth and sixth graders, who I have high hopes for. In the past my favorite grade has been fifth, and seeing as their English proficiency is greater than the other youngsters, I hope we'll have some interesting interaction between us. Hopefully worthy of the word 'bonding'.

We'll see how these three days go.

I danced in my room just now, for half an hour to the fastest music I could find in my library. 1. Because I felt bad for not doing cardio in the gym and 2. To relieve some stress, though that hadn't been one of my intended goals to begin with.

Last night I went to Seoul for coffee with a friend. I had a great time and I think worth the lack of sleep I received because of it. He's off to Paris, France, a decision he made only a few days ago. Not something I would probably do, but all the power to him. :P

I really ought to start being more optimistic, even when I don't feel like it. Fake it till you make it. My dad had more good advice in him then I had ever realized as a child.

...I didn't put a title and now the web url is the lamest title for this blog...oh bother.

I've been feeling a little depressed lately. It's really silly of me to deny it. But, what can I say?

I just sort of wish there was an "appear offline" setting for real life. Then I wouldn't have to worry about people bothering with me. I put myself out there and then I come back with bloody nubs rather than laden hands.

I always like the guys who I somehow can't have. Strange isn't it? Or is that how everyone feels and I'm only constantly reiterating the obvious? I'm either settling for mediocre men, or I'm off chasing ones who never put a shred of emotion in our involvement.

Either way, playing the silly dating game is tiresome. You either seem like a whore, or you just try too hard, and in the end I'm left the same way as I began, empty handed.

So, I wrote this extravagantly emo poem about it.

Ahh, a slice of mentally messed-up madness. Enjoy:

A lash it stings.
A lick it sings.
The red transcends.
The feel ascends.
A wicked blow
to strike the page
is a mighty show
to break the cage.
However bars still bar the way,
still steel and solid, barring, lay.
Jab and jeer from fleshy faces
and force repeat of those same 10 paces.
But soon a cell shall come a mouth
and bars there mayhap teeth spring out.
Oh such a tasty morsel lies
his future long ago surmised.
Those hungry jaws shall creak to close
and munch and munch until the crunch
relaxes all his toes.
It will swallow down that bloody lunch
down a spiral hole.
There it will be oh so much,
so hard to bear your toll.
There, in depth, you'll falter from control
instead to land right at the feet
of you and you alone.
And as you rear you swollen head,
to survey your last surrounding,
that mirror will slowly stare you dead
till any utterance cease sounding.

Update....and feeling a little...strange.

The more guys I talk to the more lonely I feel.

It seems absurd. I ought to be relishing all of the attention. However, I find myself a little put out.

Perhaps it's a constant reminder of how I haven't really had a real relationship with another person in over two years (unless we're counting one months failures. I think not), or perhaps that just when you find someone you think you might be able to work with they're taken or scared or ignorant and you're left to the more obvious, more tactless, more easy-to-attain individuals. It leaves me feeling a tad singular.

Why is it that you're attractive to everyone except the person you want to think you're attractive?

Life bites.

Well, it's been a long time since I've blogged. I'd like to be funny and witty in this one, but I'm sort of un-energetic so I'll just stick to the boring shit. :/ Sorry folks.

Despite how fascinating I'm sure you all believe my life is, it's not quite that interesting. Same old, same old. Inspiring the youth of tomorrow. Being the best teacher the world has seen and will ever know.

Right. :P Regrettably nothing in that vein has veered off course. It's all rather droll once you set into your routine and then you never even have to bat an eye as a child throws a pair of scissors your way. You just duck and keep on saying, "...and this is how you say English,"

"Eng-ri-shee!!"

I try very hard not to feel a failure.

But to the great achievement of Jesus' birth, I got the chance to have a two week long break which was thrilling in every sense of the meaning and I got the chance to rest, drink, hang out with friends, take the new train to Seoul...oh the life.

Those two weeks were filled with much fun. Much friend hanging out. Much soju. All was grand.

But Geumbyeon Elementary School reared it's ugly head once more.

So, I'm at English camp now, which isn't too difficult. In comparison, I'd rather teach the kids in this way, with two other Korean/English speakers there to save me from the scissors and the words (their both just as sharp...ouch!) :P.

I bought a new camera. You know, I'd like to say I'm not a compulsive buyer but I really am. I was just in a store randomly cause my friend from Japan wanted to go and then I walked out with an $800 camera in my possession. Jesus.

But I'm rather proud of it. I've been taking some pictures and it's so pretty. Its a Lumix DSLR with a swivel touch screen. It's everything I could ever have asked in a camera. $800 is cheap for that kind of contraption. It's sort of my replacement lover for the one I don't have. :( How sad.

And as such, I'll end there. Not too long, not too short, and exceedingly dull for a returning blog.

The Office is beautiful. The end.