The worst part of being human

Liking people is probably the worst part of being human. Having a sex drive sucks. At times I wish I could just crush my libido and never have sex again.

It's such a hassle that goes along with human romance. We have to try so hard to appear attractive to other people. So, we spend hours in the bathroom, making sure we're spic and span and ready to greet the human race with our sex drive in overdrive.

Then there is the actual awkwardness of getting to know someone. You have to keep looking like you want to fuck their brains out without coming on too strongly and scaring them away. Look, I just wish it were as easy as one another coming up to each other and saying, "Hey, let's fuck!" If that's what they have in mind, then just fucking say it right off the bat. Then I'd know what I was messing with.

And finally there's all that messy emotional bull-fuckin'-shit that goes along with dating. I enjoy being lovey dovey and cuddling as much as the next guy, but when it comes to that day when they've cheated on you, or you've finally let them see you without clothes on or they've really gotten to know who you really are or you've decided that you have to leave where you are in life, then you're flung into all of that metaphysical sticky goo of the break up. That's when hanging out is awkward, and having mutual friends is awkward and even regarding the person as a living, breathing, human being is awkward so you thinking, "Hey, let's just forget about it," and you do and it's all over.

Only it's not. It isn't ever over. You return again and again, hoping to fuck that really great guy who will be with you forever. Cause let's face it guys, we date to have sex. If we didn't have sex drives, we wouldn't need to date...we could just all be really great friends. Anyone who tries to deny this fact is obviously denying their promiscuity. If you think it's wrong, it doesn't make it any better if you're dating when you do it.

Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe I'm sick in tired of listening to people's bullshit, baby whiney, crying crap about how they really liked someone and they just can't get over it, or dating really is that great. I don't mean to sound like I hate people who have found someone really great for them and then they feel the need to proclaim it to the world. I don't hate you, I hate what you're doing. It doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy to see two people holding hands or kissing or telling each other that they mean the world to one another. Why? Cause I'm jealous. That's fucking why!

I have crushes too. I like people too. I like to have sex too. I'm a human being just like you are! So don't judge me if I call something what it is. I hate wanting to be with people. It hurts me because I know that no matter what it doesn't matter to the person I like...because quite usually they won't like me back.

I'm starting to ramble here. So, here's the last bit of my shpeal and I'll try to wrap this up. I'm tired of people not liking me. I do everything I'm supposed to. I play the stupid games that everyone plays. I don't want to see everyone around me happy and me just smiling pretending I'm happy for them when I'm not.