Another five!

Here we go! Here’s another five cute and/or interesting things about Korea. Apologies for it being rather late, however I had to ascertain my own original ideas. Obviously (maybe more so for me :/) it’s taken a while. Well, all that aside, let us push onward.

Unique compliments. One of my other friends who has a blog devoted an entire blog to just this one Korean phenomenon, but I’d like to think I might have a bit of a spin on it myself. Now, compliments come often in many forms, sometimes sarcastic, others genuine, but for the most part, they make sense. I guess in a way Korean ones make sense as well, it’s just humorous to hear them. For instance, “You have thick eyebrows!” is a new one in my book. Apparently in the very gifted fact that they can’t grow body hair (I’m envious of this in most cases) they also seemed to have lost the ability to grow full, healthy tufts of eyebrows. Instead they normally have these large, thin caterpillars residing above their eyes. I’m not making fun, I’m just being honest (or maybe I just really am making fun. It’s so easy though!). I’ve also been told I have big eyes, which is nice except for the fact that this compliment is almost always accompanied by the said Korean pulling their own eyelids apart…you know…in the same way Americans do when they said, “Your eyes are sooooo small.” Not offensive in the least! Whilst I’ve been here I’ve also been told I should model and that I have low self esteem when I attempt to tell them that in America I’m quite generic just in the same way that every Korean looks the same. Not offensive in the least…right?

Singing appliances. In my stay in Korea land, I’ve grown accustomed to cute little chimes. It’s really great when my laundry is done and my washing machine literally sings to me for a good minute. As well, my television sings to me as well and so does the rice cooker. I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I were to open the cupboard and discover the dishes were singing to me (of course, then I’d be really happy because then it’d be like Beauty and the Beast or Harry Potter! :D Neither of which show my actual age…:/)

Hat dancing. They have the most interesting dance here! They wear these hats with massive straps tagged onto their noggins and swing their head to make the ribbon’s twirl around in the air while they thumb on massive drums. It’s something akin to marching band on crack. As well, they play this most obnoxious instrument that sounds like a dying trumpeter is attempting to play his last dirge on a broke and very flat trumpet. Don’t tell any Korean you think it’s strange however. They are very proud of this dance. In fact, when I attempted to make a joke about them twirling their heads, my English teacher turned to me and said something along the lines of, “Only a Korean knows how to twirl their head without getting dizzy. If you tried to do that, you’d get dizzy, wouldn’t you?” Oh Korea, such a feat! That’s alright my friends. Dance to your hearts content!

Games. As a child I truly enjoyed games. On the contrary, never have I met a more anxious group of people to enter into the throws of a titillating game. In fact, nothing could tantalize a Korean more, except perhaps soju. Oh, calm down, everyone’s a little bit racist sometimes. Haven’t you listened to the soundtrack of Avenue Q? I’m not just saying children love these things. It’s hard to say that there isn’t a child on the planet who doesn’t like to play games. However, even full grown adults enjoy even the slightest hint of a game. Carlie, my friend who is teaching in Korea with me, is forced to teach adults (though she gets paid extra for it :)) and she told me that the adults actually requested to play games that the children play. When they played, they got really into it and slapped each other’s backs as punishment. Even young adults enjoy it. I have never played so many games while intoxicated in my life. Drinking games are their forte. I’m relatively certain they can turn any children’s game into a game for drinking.

Statues. I don’t mean just statues in general, although there is a wide multitude littering this Korean landscape, but when I say statues I’m speaking in regards to their anatomical configuration. If there just so happens to be a naked statue anywhere, trust me, it’s anatomically correct…right down to the butthole. There are some statues in front of E-Mart (so family friendly) that has naked boys sitting on rocks; their genitals displayed hanging for the world to see. On Kangwon University’s campus there is a statue with three naked men, wangs waving right at you, holding up the world. I can bet that even the clothed statues are anatomically correct under those marble/granite/iron clothes. There’s nothing wrong with it, it’s just, why is it sooo important to include the genitals in all forms of art here? I think Korea is suffering from a bit of penis envy.

Questions, new choices and self-revelations. We knew this one was coming...

"Tell me something...why is it that I can NEVER make up my mind. I've made so many decisions and sometimes I just wonder why in the world I made them! I still have no idea what I'm doing and am pretty sure that my mind is still liable to change despite how sure I try to trick myself into thinking I am. Does anyone else feel this way? Can I blame it on youth? So many questions and regrettably they will remain unanswered. *sigh* I'm getting too deep aren't I?"

Above is the status update I had tried to put on facebook but it was too many characters long. As such I thought it to be a brilliant idea to put it on my blog instead. Don't judge me, just run with it.

I AM going to get too deep here. You know what, it's my blog so I'm entitled to at least that with this thing. Am I right? Bother...

Lately I've felt like I've realized I'm kind of tired with myself. The way I act, the way I treat others (not negatively mind you. Just the way I react to others mostly), the way I speak, my disregard for the fact that some things are really going to appall people so I really should learn to think before I (insert verb here).

Basically, my life shouldn't be spent making others happy (though that should be a important as well. We're all going through life and it's difficult so the way I see it, why make it harder?) or making people like you. If someone likes someone, they like them. There really isn't much one can do about it is there?

I've annoyed myself so many times in the past few years. I think I'm leaps and bounds from my very childish, self-centered (does me admitting this make me self-centered? Oh the questions) adolescent counterpart that was my teenage self. Even so, I feel like my adult self isn't going to get anywhere (or many friends) if I can't learn to just chill out. I need to learn to enjoy my own company and space. I need to learn that I don't have to include everyone in all of my personal information (I get waaay to graphic sometimes O.o). Some things should just be private. As well I need to learn to take a joke, which I feel I've gotten extensively better at doing.

Recently I decided I would throw out about half of my wardrobe and start afresh with a different kind of look. I wanted desperately to be punk. You know, big boots, loud, over-designed graphic t's, crazy hair and piercings, and tight pants. Haha! Wow. I've realized now, maybe because I had my two-decades-old-birthday, that that really just isn't me. I shouldn't try so hard to be something that just isn't me.

Perhaps the whole clothes swap idea stems from my urge to just be a better person. I want to be genuine and honest and stop lying to myself and the people around me. Self-realizations aside, I have a newfound, overwhelming desire to be unapologetically me. I want to stop giving in to people when I have no desire to be included in what they are doing. I want to stop merely trying fit in in anyway possible, even if that means disregarding the feelings and morals of others. I just want more than anything, to grow up and start acting my age.

With all of this proclaiming and such, I'm even questioning what I want to do (yet again. Geeze!) with my college career. What do I really want to do when I "grow up"? And do I want to stay in Korea any longer to see if it will help.

It's cheesey but I guess I was one of those guys at orientation who came to Korea to find out who they are. It really is Teach and LEARN in Korea. So cliché. Heaven knows I didn't come here to teach (though it really is growing on me. The children are so precious!).

All of these questions and new choices and revelations and I'm pretty sure my brain is going to burst. Luckily, I don't think I have much to worry about. I just need to sit back, take a chill pill and zone out and let thing play out how they'll play. It's just sad that life is more like Wizard chess and nothing like the ordinary sort (I'm just going to pat myself on the back for the Harry Potter reference. My life is Harry Potter). :D

And now with my brilliant exeunt flopped by my incessant need to explain myself (why can't I just let a joke be!?) I'm off to an early sleep for an early morning rise. I can't do anything else for sure in my life but greet the sun.

The joys of Chuseok

I say the word “joys” very lukewarm-ly. Not to say that I didn’t have an awesome time during my celebrations of Chuseok, if you call celebrating about half of it on busses and other transportation vehicles an awesome time.

Perhaps I should first talk about Chuseok. I actually got through this entire blog and realized I needed to put a little paragraph about it since I’m sure not everyone knows what it is. It’s basically Korean Thanksgiving. People from all around Korea travel to their hometowns (traffic is terribly during this time) and make a ton of food, honor their dead and celebrate their fortunes. They traditionally wear Hanboks, the Korean clothes of old, which are very beautiful and raise the chest of any patriotic Korean. The holiday is one of the largest in Korea aside from the Lunar New Year which happens after the regular New Year.

Now, my Chuseok began just like any other week because, guess what, my school (so few schools actually did this) wanted to have school on Monday. Thank goodness they didn’t want to have school on Friday, which would have been entirely applicable, seeing as Chuseok break lasted technically from Tuesday to Thursday. If they did, well then thank Got for sick days.

On my travels I got to see my fair share of Engrish, which makes me so, so happy. I love seeing it whenever I’m aut.

Okay, I’m done, I promise. Where do I start? I guess the beginning is a good O.o.

I began my adventure/trip/escapade/excursion (Oh English, how many words you have to denote the same thing) on Tuesday after I regrettably discovered that Tabor Grey, the secret love of my life, wouldn’t be down for her cousins birthday. I know, I should have been more upset on behalf of their cousins, but I’m selfish, as evident in the thing I did next. I left promptly afterward for Cheonan. I forewarned Caitlin, of course apologizing for missing their birthday which would proceed the following day. I came to Korea to teach and explore! So, I went to go explore after exhausting the whole teaching thing as much as I could.

The bus ride was fantastic...ehhh…It was alright for a bus full of sleeping Koreans. It’s funny how whenever you see a Korean in the real world on a bus, they’re usually sleeping. I found out earlier it’s because they over work themselves and hardly allow for any z’s, hence the whole conking out on transportation mediums. Anyway, a good three or so hours later I was in Cheonan meeting my good Kiwi friends, Jose and Ben to go to Jose’s apartment to see Leanne and Jenny (all of which I adore immensely, primarily for their brilliant accents). We had fun Norebanging it up in a really cool place called Princess or something like that (yes, the inside resembled a little girls dreamscape) and then we all hit the hay (and by hay I mean Jose’s really uncomfortable floor with nothing but a very thin blanket to separate).

The next day, the girls left and Jose and Ben and I were left to explore the wonders of Cheonan, which were very, very, very few. (The following pictures depict Cheonan City Hall, Ben ruining my shot of a really cool mirror thing at City Hall, and a pretty gazebo. There's apparently a renactment thing there of the horrible way the Japanese treated the Koreans. I really want to go back and see it.)

However, we got to go for a walk! I love walking! I can only assume they got it after my hearing numerous groans from them. I also got to meet Sara and Ashley, two very awesome girls who live in Cheonan with Jose, and Kevin who is very infamous in my circle of friends (I was glad to finally meet him and formulate my own feelings for the fellow. They’re not bad, don’t worry).

That night we enjoyed the company of friends and heaps (hehe, what a funny word) of soju and then crashed hard back on that familiar floor so we could get all rested for what lay in store the next day. The ZOOOOOO!

This place was sweeet. Apparently its 10th largest in the world (I wouldn’t know, it’s not like I’m a zoo connoisseur or anything). All I cared about was that it had wolves! I love those buggers! Along with camels, bears, flamingos, large cats, many insects, and a plethora of underwater life, the whole trip seemed a pretty big success, especially since I had Dakbokki for lunch!

Did I mention the zoo was in Seoul? Yeah, Cheonan has a convenient subway connecting it to Seoul. Jealous much? Indeed I am.

Through some random and unexplainable brain workings I decided it would be a good idea to head down to Ulsan. Trust me I have no idea why I went. Just go with it.

So, I went to the bus terminal, bought my ticket and sat around for an hour sipping yummy Americano coffee and getting told off by fuming baristas who don’t like their pictures taken and then once again I was on the rode!

(My coffee)

(Angry barista lady coming to tell me off. I wasn't even taking a picture of her! I was taking a picture of the fermenting boxes.)

A good three hours or so later I ran smack into Ulsan! The first thing I got to see (aside from the river) was this giant Ferris wheel! Little did I know that later in the weekend I would get to sit in one of those welcoming gondolas!

I met two very good friends from Jochiwon (Erin Stutesman and Shalini Sharma) and we were off on an hour and a half trek through Ulsan to Shalini’s place near the ocean. Trust me, it was worth it.

Then I got to meet all of these rad people from Ulsan, including Nicole, Tiffany, Yuri and Ben (again). We got to explore the wonders of Ulsan (which are motley and plentiful!) which included a lot of food, primarily delicious patbingsu.

Patbingsu is a scrumptious little (actually it’s usually big. Often times it is shared. Trust me you don’t want to eat it all alone. Korean’s will look at you like you’re so pathetic and lonely T_T) desert invented here in K-Town that incorporates the flavors of shaved ice (sometimes shaved frozen cream too! If it isn’t shaved, the cream is just added in) cream (refer to previous brackets), sweet red beans, fruit (sometimes), cereal (sometimes), ice cream (sometimes) and a whole lot of Korean love. It’s splendiferous.

Finally after much fun, I had my last mean with Shalini (Kimbap, basically Korean Sushi…except no raw fish) and then I was off to Seoul. Later I received a phone call reminding me about dinner with my mentor teacher which I (of course) forgot. I’ve been so forgetful lately. Let’s hope it’s merely a phase…hope :/. She hand made me Dalkgalbi. I was so upset when I got to Seoul around 4:30 (I had to be in Chuncheon by 6:00ish to eat) and then got lost for literally, three agonizing hours. The subways system was a bitch, maneuvering between crowds of lazy Koreans was a bitch, find the bus terminal was a bitch and the bus actually getting out of the terminal onto the road was a bitch. All in all, I think we can deduce that Seoul is a bitch. I will never connect there ever again.

Finally, I got home at 9:00, shagged, fagged and ready to hit my bed that had been calling me all week long, feeling a little hallow. Not to get too deep here, (I can probably blame it on being very exhausted and having spent about \300,000 (that translates to about $300)) but I was starting to second guess my feelings for staying here any longer than six months and was really looking forward to going home.

Then I saw my friends here in Chuncheon, Carlie, Caitlin, Paul and Pat, and I felt stacks (ß Kiwi word!) better.

Aside from the odd turn in directions for my emotions, the week was pretty monumentally fantastic. I traveled A LOT and I was glad that I did. Not to mention as soon as I got home I saw a guy get racked in the nads for “science” on some silly Korean television program. Nothing like a little comic violence to be the cherry on top of my ice cream (or patbingsu) bowl of a vacation.

P.S. Why do I have NO pictures of Leanne and Jenny!? What was I doing with my camera!!? >.<

Five culture shocks

Yes, I'm merely repeating a trend of a few of my blog friends in the past. However, I believe it is an entertaining, perhaps almost necessary post that I'm required to show to the rest of the civilized world.

Five things about Korea that has appalled/interested/surprised me in the past two months since I've been here. I feel like there may turn out to be more than five, but I don't want to copy anyone so I'll think intently about the subject before putting a new series up.

1. I'm going to start with the most revolting. Now, it may be because I grew up in a country where we kill insects, not consume them, but I'm pretty sure that 번데기 has got to be one of the most stomach churning consumable I’ve ever heard of. 번데기 translates to Pupa, in English. Yes, you have the correct image in your head. If not, here’s one to help.

I’m just being honest, but I think I’d rather eat a multitude of other dishes on the planet than this, not to mention, it smells like dirt and feel s like dirt when you bite into it. Yes, indeed I have eaten it. It reminds me of a dirt bean. Yum! There are some things that I just wonder, “why would you ever put that in your mouth? “

2. Commercials. I know at home, they suck. I hate it when you’re in the midst of an emotionally epic film and a commercial pops up and you groan. Luckily at home, they’re just long enough to get up, go pee, maybe grab a drink really fast and run back to the T.V. to continue. Not in Korea. Here, instead we watch a film for a good 30-45 minutes. Yeah, that rules. However, the commercials are so long that I have found myself multiple times having enough time to pee, grab a drink, drink it, make dinner, eat it, sit around aimlessly and then give up and call my friends to see what bar we can go to (perhaps this is an overstatement). Literally, the commercials last so long I get tired of the movie and almost lose entire interest in the film itself. That and the same commercials are pretty much on constant repeat. Oh Korea. There’s only so many times I can watch yellow clad Korean singers dancing to a loan shark commercial before I feel like punching the television screen.

3. Koreans I have found are, for the majority, a very kind and welcoming group of humans. Yes, I have seen the odd fight among four businessmen in Seoul who were just way to fucking drunk and smashed shot glasses over one another’s head, resulting in much blood and ruined suits (which is a pity, seeing as Korean suits are usually silvery and shiny and downright amazing!). However, they are understanding when you can’t speak Korean, and will play the mime game with you any old time if you have to, say, find the toilet or need the directions to the nearest subway/train/bus station. In fact, almost to the point where they feel comfortable to whip out all of the English they have EVER learned in an attempt to communicate, despite the fact that, no, it doesn’t make any sense. Usually, you’ll just find yourself nodding, smiling, saying 감사합니다 (thank you) and trying to get free of their un-bashful groping of your ligaments. This happens very frequently, usually among those of the inebriated Korean race.

4. In America, I always hated trash. I think trash was my least favorite chore that I was given as a child. Korea in comparison is a nightmare to my American upbringing. While at home, we had trash taken on a scheduled day. Food trash was merely disposed of in the trash can and placed in a giant green bin that, yes eventually smelled bad and sometimes got infested with flies, but it was all manageable. In Korea you just put your trash on the side of the road and wait for someone come get it. Seriously. You leave it in a fucking bag and someone in the middle of the night may or may not throw it out. But there's not real way to tell precisely when they will be there. I usually wait till the pile on the corner of my block is about to my head level. Then I know the trash man must be coming soon. And trust me, walking past that every morning to get to my bus to school smells fantastic! As well, I feel at constant battle with fruit flies. At first moving into my apartment, I kept my food trash in my kitchen. In my feeble attempts to save money and not be a waste of plastic, I didn’t (and still don’t) take out my food waste bag (btw, there are different bags for different wastes here. Forewarning) until it was brimming full of partially composted, moldy food. As such, such cute little creatures like maggots take the chance to grow and flourish into cute little flies that harass my entire apartment. I don’t like killing things, bugs included. However, flies/mosquitoes/cockroaches serve no purpose in my life/on the planet so I feel no remorse in destroying them. The war has lasted the entire time I’ve been here even though I’ve long since placed my food trash outside on my balcony to reduce the number of fucker flies zooming around my head. I promise my apartment is not that disgusting. I think I’m winning the fight. Their numbers seem to be diminishing.

5. This last one is a pleasant surprise, yet a surprise none-the-less. To be honest, I’ve never felt I’m a totally unattractive person. Yeah, everyone has felt those moments of non-satisfaction in themselves and have hated the way they look or the way their shaped or what not. Yes, I’m included in this bunch. Living in Korea however, has kind of inflated my ego insurmountably. So much so, that I think I could wear sweats and a baggy tee, go a few days without shaving and wear my giant clunky glasses and still get Koreans telling me that I’m “handsome boy”. In fact, the other day (maybe a week and a half ago) a Korean girl got off at the bus stop where I was waiting for my bus to come home and asked if she could have my picture with her. When she took the picture, she looked at it, squealed and then for the next block and half kept turning to me and saying “bye handsome boy!” A vast majority of the school and school staff has called me attractive and offered me gifts solely for this fact, and I’ve even had Korean men (drunk mind you, but never-the-less) get up from their tables and shake my hand and introduce themselves to me, all the while saying, “you are handsome!”. My physical education teacher at my school (a male) even said to me, “You are more beautiful than woman!” It wasn’t a joke. He was legitimately attempting to compliment me.

That’s it so far. I’ll try to put more up as I see them. :P Keep watching for updates!

Yangyang and Provincial Orientation

Our provinical orientation was heaven. Not a lot of people had it good, but we were treated like royalty. It all began with our closing ceremony and lunch at Jochiwon. The lunch there was exquisite! We all said our rushed goodbye's to the friends we had made. Personally, I was very sad to be leaving them. I had made some very strong bonds with my fellow TaLK scholars and now I was forced to leave them!? For the most part, I think I handeled it well.

Then we piled all of our suitcases into the buses and headed off. Of course, my bus was late because we had tried to pack everyone's suitcase into the bottom of the bus. Somehow, the driver thought that would have worked. Nope. Instead, it looked something like this.

Of course it was the men who had to pack that tetris game of a wall. :P Honestly, it wasn't too bad. Working together helped us all have something in common. Yes, we did all know each other from Jochiwon orientation, but a majority of us still didn't really know each other well. It was like restarting orientation all over again.



The view from the bus was awesome. We knew it as soon as we reached Gangwon-do. As soon as I saw the country side I let out all of my, "Fuck yeah"'s for my excitement at my own genious for picking Gangwon-do as my province. Yeah, it's close to North Korea, but it's cooler weather and effing beautiful landscape. There's mountains, the ocean, forests and rivers. This place rules!

As soon as we arrived we had dinner. That too, was extravagant. There was so much fresh sushimi and nagmyun and bulgogi! It was fantastic. Regrettibly, I didn't bring my camera to dinner. :/

Then we got to see the rooms! :D





Compared to Jochiwon, our rooms were gigantic! That, and my roomie was awesome! He was the best roommate I've ever had...not that I've had a plethora of them. He was the first roommate I ever had good talks with. Thumbs up Jonathan Lee.

That night we were supposed to play soccer. :/ Luckily, they switched our activity last minute to going to the stream/river. Now that was a fantastic idea!




It was very pretty there! There was even a natural spring near that had naturally carbonated water! It tasted like rust :P, but you got over it. It was really healthy soooo :P.

We also got the chance to make rice cake in the traditional manner. Let me tell you, if you ever have any pent up anger while you're here in Korea about the fact that everyone around you speaks another language and that they put poopie toilet paper in trash cans and stink up the bathroom and that everyone eats squid like no one's business, then you need to try this out. You litterally take Thor's fuckin' hammer and beat the shit out of some rice. I felt so manly!

Then afterwards we got to roll up the rice cake and eat it! It was delicious, especially the ones with red bean paste in the middle. Mmmm :).


Jonathan (my roomie!) holding some rice cake. What does that look like to you?

Red bean pastein the middle. So efftastic good!

We also went to a Buddhist temple. I went once already. The first time sucked so much penis. But the second time, it was ballin' (thanks Pat for allowing me the chance to pick up Canadian slang :P)! It was right next to the water. This Buddha statue used to be the biggest in Asia, but then someone else decided to say "eff you" and build a bigger one. :P

Of course, I left out the other rather boring things we did. We made pottery at a pottery museum, we went to a dam museum and GILI (pointless). If you want to know about it, look it up yourself :D.

Then we had our closing banquet with our co-scholars and tons and tons of soju. In Korean culture, if you want to be good friends with someone, you offer them a shot of soju in your own shot glass. I had 16 or so shots of soju that night. So plastered O.o. I'll have to be more carful at Hweyshik (company dinner were there is comparibly as much soju as there is food...and there's lots of food).

And now I'm in Chuncheon, trying to get used to the town and transit system. I missed by bus (AGAIN!) today. I found out later that I was standing at the bus stop but I actually had to flag the dude down. I had no idea. Hopefully tomorrow I will actually be able to take it and not be a re-re about it. Fuckin' Korean bus system! :D

I'm kidding. I think I'll enjoy my time here.

Edit: Oh man! I almost forgot to share this. This was the poster for the Order of Ceremony for provincial orientation. Oh Korea. :P

Apartment

My time in Korea has been short. Despite that, I have felt in love with this country, and have felt twinging pangs of distaste for it. I've both enjoyed learning Korean culture, and found it revolting. I've eaten delicious foods, and wondered why anyone would think of eating that!

For the majority, I believe it has thus far been a positive experience. I miss my friends I made back in Jochiwon and Yangyang orientations, but I'm glad I'm slowly but surely getting to know my way around Chuncheon.

I've been having trouble with my camera, hence the lack of pictures, but I'd like to begin integrating images into my blog in an effort to make it more interesting.

Let's begin with my phone.

Cute right. Despite it's obvious brickishness, it works well enough for what I need. The charm on it is my bus pass for Chuncheon bus transit system. Trust me, I've had my bad experiences with transit systems, but never quite so bad till I reached Chuncheon.

My mentor teacher failed to tell me that there are two number 67 buses, one that goes in one direction, the other, in the opposite direction. Regrettably I got on the wrong bus and rode it until the driver told me to get off in broke English. There I was, in a foreign city, unable to speak any words aside from kamsahapnida (thank you ) and ahneyonghaseyoh (hello), giant books in toe, walking the streets of Chuncheon.

Frustrated, I climbed in a cab and said Namchuncheon Yok, which is the nearest landmark to my apartment, a train station. The previous day I had missed the bus and tried to take a taxi to my school. Unfortunately, the taxi driver had no idea what I was saying in my poor pronunciation of Korean, and so tried to take me into the heart of the city. Instead I changed to Home Plus and walked about 3 or 4 miles to my school. Shit.

Thankfully it's all figured out now.

But now I'm in my apartment and it's pretty rad.

I hope everything turns out well while I'm here. I'll put another blog about my Yangyang orientation. My timelines suck because it's easier to talk about what happened recently :P. That and I'm limited to five pictures per blog, so I can't put too many more up.

I'll keep you posted!

English Camp

My time at English camp astounded even I. I went into it with as positive of a mind set as I could. Even still, it wasn’t as bright as I was attempting to trick myself into. It didn’t work in my favor that I had the most unresponsive child there (that’s purely an exaggeration).

Alex. That was the English name dubbed to him by yours truly. I presented him a list of generic names like John, James, Adam etc. When I said Alex he jumped and nodded since he refused to speak English to me despite the fact that he spoke English very well. Later I was told that there is a famous Korean singer who goes by the English name as Alex. The truth behind the name!

Surprisingly, young children are so much like puppies that sometimes I almost picture a leash on that tiny little neck. :P I wish I had had one for Alex; all those times he ran off and taunted me for not keeping up got under my skin. I understand all the numerous times I was told not to take it personally, but it’s harder than you think to just brush it aside. In fact, I had this rather annoying scholar actually complain to me about his perfectly receptive, cute Korean kid because she liked to hang out with her friends and didn’t pay him enough “attention”. I had no remorse for anyone except Shalini, who had a kid that actually swore excessively in Korean and thew fit after fit.

Our days were meticulously planned by Group four coordinator, Tee. Luckily, I was part of group four. Previously we had divided into teams. I belonged to team 3, my team leader: Stephen Christopher Low, a very interesting Brit/Kiwi with a shock of red hair. The first days consisted of game that, to be honest, none of the kids in my team hardly participated in. In fact, my rambunctious cheek-squeezer was off in the corner playing with a mock, orange football (soccer ball). From that day on, I would learn that if I ever needed to find Alex, that I could just look for a brightly colored football and find him not far in toe.

The next day we had textbook rotation. We were incorrectly informed that we had to make a lesson plan for our child for two hours straight. We were allowed to be in groups of two, so me and my friends Leanne, teamed up to teach our living, breathing Korean child. I need to preface that Leanne is fucking awesome! She helped me so much to plan for our lesson and was such a great break from working with my kid. She’s from New Zealand. For some reason the Kiwi’s grouped together a lot, so Leanne sort of helped me make headway into the Kiwi scene. There are a shit ton of Kiwi’s here!

Anway, so Leanne and I planned this rad lesson involving colors that we had to scrap when they told us that it was a rotation style lesson. I would get to work with 4 kids, including mine, through a rotation about every 10 minutes. Working with my kid was...well, honestly, it left nothing to be desired. He sat there, staring at me, no matter how hard I tried to get him to repeat me and learn with me. After a long and grueling 10 minutes, I was gifted with three of the sweetest, most responsive kids! The last, Justin, even gave me a sticker with Korean written all over it. The sticker said, “Thank you teacher! My English isn’t very good, but I feel that I’ve gotten better being taught by you. Thank you.” It was so fucking cute I almost puked.

The rest of the classes were pretty lame. We had traditional Korean music, cultural experience where we made Aboriginal dot art from Australia/New Zealand (even though they are two separate countries), a football jersey from UK, or a board game from America (I know, I had the same reaction. What the fuhhh!? Is America land of board games or something?), English through theatre (I was the director. I was told I treated the kids like dogs. :D), and English through music.

We were also required to eat our meals with our kids. Cute, except that I would always have to ditch my meal to take my kid back to the dorm because I didn’t know how to get across that he needed to wait for me to finish.

Our rooms consisted to 10 scholars per room, two showers and one toilet. Not only that, but we slept on palates on the floor, not on beds. I thought this would be bad, but honestly I slept so well on it that I can’t complain.

After three days of constant silence from Alex, watching everyone enjoy their adorable Korean pets/kids and being exhausted from 12 hours a day of children and classes, I think a majority of us were pretty stoked for it to be over. We had a talent show near the end, where the groups separated into two divisions and got a song together to perform. Highlights were definitely Thriller and Jump on it. It was so rad. We actually were told that our talent show was the best that a lot of the supervisors had ever scene. It was great! Then we had our closing ceremony, in which Alex was playing a game on my phone because he was bored. A lot of the scholars and their respective children were teary eyed.

Despite my bad experience at English camp, I did enjoy myself quite a lot. I got to be around really great people and we turned the negatives to positives as much as we could. That, and we ate so much ice cream thanks to a convenience store being right next to our dormitories. And even though I had a bad child and had to sleep on the floor and share a shower and work and work and work, I really enjoyed it. I feel so much more prepared for my class room now. It is my first time teaching, so I know that I still have a lot to learn, but I know one thing. My classroom is so going to have a disciplinary system. 100%

1st 1/2 of orientation: Korea so far

Lecture, lecture, lecture, lunch, lecture, lecture, lecture, dinner, lecture: as such the way some of my days have gone in this whirlwind of an adventure. We've only just begun, and yet I can tell it's going to be quite the winding road, full of pit falls, good times, and lots of 소주.

So far it's been a blast despite how drained I am after lecture after lecture. You just have to grin and bear it for the most part. The dorm rooms are lush but cramped, especially with mine and my roommates giant suitcases littering the space. O.o...so intense.

What's gone down so far? Well, aside from lectures and food, I've met some of the coolest, motley array of people I think I'll ever have the pleasure of meeting again. There are soooo many people worth mentioning, but I'll refrain to keep the creep level of this blog to a minimum. O.o

So, in lectures we've learned how to handle rambunctious kids, teach them through music, drama and magic, learned the need-to-know's for creating lesson plans and the norms of Korean culture. Though usually riveting, they got a little redundant to the point I was beginning to nod off. But do not fret my friends, I persevered.

I've been exploring 조치원 (Jochiwon) as much as I can in my free time with friends. We've gone to 노래방 (Karaoke) and to bars and just walked...a lot. Taxi's are remarkably easier to use than you'd think. As long as you speak slowly, they usually get it. Of course, I like to look up the Korean word for wherever I want to go before doing it. It's safer.

This past weekend I experienced the culturally diverse city of 서울 (Seoul). I say city, but I really only stayed near 합정역(Hapjeong) station where our hostel was. We explored a little bit, but I really cant remember the names of the other stations/streets we went to. But we didn't go too far lest we became directionally challenged.

My experience in 서울 was intense. While me and my friends were having dinner we got front row seats to a fight between four Korean business men who were out having a good time. One pushed the other, another broke a shot glass on his friends head and cut his hand, then some three-on-one action of kicking and punching another guy in a corner. Good times. What was best was when they would hug and be best friends in between these surges of excessive anger and violence. The entire time, blood is staining their white shirts and pristine ties and their scuffing their well shined shoes. I for one was devastated that one of the guys was ruining a fine pair of silver dress pants. Sad, sad day. :D

Aside from that horror-show, the city wasn't bad. Most people were very warm and welcoming to English speaking foreigners. Even if the Korean didn't speak hardly ANY English, as long as you said hello and thank you in Korean, they were game for the charades that ensued when asking for directions, where the bathroom was and what you wanted to order for lunch. I literally pantomimed peeing into a urinal to get some guy to understand what I meant. It works, so don't judge.

I really intend to learn Korean while I'm here. Not that charades aren't fun, it's just a little degrading and a little...umm...ridiculous...yeah, that's the word I want.

The hostel wasn't too bad. Rock hard beds, two bathrooms, 20 + people. What's not to love? Honestly, the place was really safe and I really enjoyed it. Here is a link to the website of the Hostel. It's really safe and the guys are really accommodating. Trust me, you'll like it if you go.

I went to a few clubs, learned a Korean dance move or two (and taught some Koreans a little bit of what Western dancing has to offer), ate a bunch and soon was on the train back home. Honestly, 조치원was a relief. It's so much easier to navigate with significantly fewer people.

So, here we are. I've packed and I'm all ready for English camp where I'll be working with a Korean student for 12 hours a day for 4 days. A lot of people I've talked to are being pretty negative about it, but I'm trying my best to stay positive. I just hope I get a responsive, sweet and adorable kids and not some rowdy little shit who wont at least try to communicate with me. Either way, I'll learn what I'm supposed to do.

It looks like, up to this point, I really enjoy Korea. I'm not sure how long that feeling will last. For now, I'll take it and run with it.

Good Morning Korea!

(Edit: Btw, I thought it may be pertinent to tell anyone that I've found my man-bag since my last blog! Phew!)

All of this build up and now it’s finally that time. I’m sitting here in my dorm in the University of Korea, looking out over the cityscape of the town I’m in (I won’t even try to butcher it’s name. I’m about an hour and forty-five minutes from Incheon airport, let’s just say) and it all seems pretty surreal. I’m actually in Korea.

To be honest it really isn’t that much different from the U.S. For some unexplainable reason I thought that it would be significantly different. My assumptions were proven incorrect. Honestly the largest difference is the fact that everything has Hangul written all over it.

...hmm...so I guess I’ll tell you about some things I’ve had to learn were a bit altered from their American counterparts. Namely, the dual elevators that only go to even numbers on the left, and odd numbers on the right. At the ground level I made the sour mistake of hoping aboard the odd numbered elevator. Regrettably my room is on the eighth floor so I had to take a trip back down, still carrying these monster bags in toe, and then through the other elevator and then back up. I didn’t realize I had to switch elevators till I was up on the seventh floor of the odd numbered elevator. Bother.

Then of course the shower that isn’t really a shower. In fact, the bathroom really isn’t a bathroom, it’s a shower room. The shower head isn’t blocked off or in a bathtub or anything. It’s just on the wall in the middle of the room. That’s fine by my standards, I don’t mind getting everything wet...except for my dry clothes that I carry in to change into once I’m done. I almost got them entirely soaked when I placed them in the far corner of the room and didn’t realize the water was slowly creeping up to it. Note to self: don’t leave anything on the floor of the bathroom, anywhere, while showering. It will get wet.

So I’ve experienced a minor amount of culture shock. Silly thing is I sort of new about these things already and am still interested at the fact that I’m still a bit shocked by it...that and I have to take my shoes off every time I enter my dorm. Not a biggie, but I keep forgetting! Sigh.

The flight itself ruled though. There were really nice Korean ladies that brought us awesome food. That was pretty much the best part of the flight, oh and the fact that the in flight media player ruled! I saw so many sweet movies that I’ve been wanting to see. They even had Imogen Heaps new album on it. Score. And they had these really awesome roll things with sweet meat in the middle. I was scrumptious.

Now all I need to do is get my time schedule set. Annoyingly so, my circadian clock is forcibly hardwired to Central Standard Time. I was wide away at 4:00am this morning (2:00pm in the U.S) and had the most horrible time trying to go back to bed...most likely from the air conditioner that isn’t working for some reason, being off and burning me to a lovely sweat all night long.

My roomie seems nice enough too. David from Chicago, Korean-American, what’s not to like? :) He says he can speak enough Korea to get by, but I don’t think he realizes that if he spends any time with me, I’ll be asking him to translate a lot. I hope he’s better than he says he is :P. First things first though, I’m going to see if he can read the Hangul on the thermostat. I’m burning up!

Alright, now I guess I should get in the shower and great ready for breakfast. Hamburgers and french-fries is what I’m told the people who already arrived have been having for breakfast. Man, Koreans know Americans so well.

...Today...

I just got done watching Inception. It was honestly, pretty much the most bad-ass movie I seen in a really, really long time. It was well written, well thought out, well acted and had some mind-fucking special effects.

Regrettably this is all trumped by the fact that I lost my man-bag.

Hmm. Where to begin. So the past few months I have felt really shitty. I’ve felt friendless, easily aggravated, taken advantage of and really generally depressed. I understand that for a majority of these symptoms, I might have been a large benefactor in their maturity. Despite understanding and acknowledging this, it does not dismiss the fact that they have been plaguing me for a while. Maybe plaguing is too intense of a word....sigh...

To be honest, I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s not something someone want’s to hear on a day to day basis. “Hey, how are you today?” “Oh fine, just really fuckin’ depressed! How ‘bout you?” That and I hardly doubt I have anyone in my near vicinity whom I could speak about it with who wouldn’t just over look it, tell me I need to “calm down” or worse, just ignore it and look at me with that trademark awkward eyes I already get so frequently.

There I go again, investing myself too much in the people around me. But there I go again, believing that I can. I’ve just been so fucking stupid lately! In fact, very recently this feeling has been building up to the point that I can’t even be civil around people. I jump to conclusions and of course, they are the worst ones. It’s just easier to assume the worst, then anything else that may happen is probably significantly more bearable.

Where is this coming from? Perhaps it’s my attempt to “reach out”. I don’t know. It’s really been festering until tonight. Tonight when I get to see this awesome movie with friends on what is supposed to be my last fun excursion before I fly to Korea for six-months to a year, both the furthest and the longest I’ll be away from home ever. Tonight when I lose my bag. Such as stupid, insignificant thing right?

Except it wasn’t insignificant. To be honest, it wasn’t the bag itself. Sorry, I know it was a gift from Japan, but there are more on the planet and I can just shell out the cash to see another one. In fact, most of what was inside also bears little sentimental value to me. Yes, there were four inhalers inside, two of which are prescription, that would serve me well in case my asthma flares while I’m, you know, in another country where I won’t be able to easily attain those items. Still, I can deal. I’ll figure out something.

What pisses me off is I lost the most sentimental items that I own period. I keep them all on my key-chain. It’s just a combination of bad luck. I don’t ever even keep my keys in my bag, usually they are pinned to my person. But today I decided to wear a pair of shorts that have a torn belt loop on the side that I wear them, so I put them in the bag. Great.

My brothers car key was on there, the one he totaled and got a bad concussion. My first car key was on it. I fucking loved that car. Sandra’s Jeep key was on it, not that sentimental but kind of irresponsible of me to loose the key to the car that the owner is so kindly letting me borrow. My really good friend Tabor gave me a charm that had her name on it. It’s from a German town named after her and I would have to go to that town to retrieve and replacement. My cousin’s string was tied to it, the one I had a bad falling out with and haven’t apologize yet. And of course, Chad’s wrestling medallion is on it, the one he told me never to lose and to return to him when I saw him next.

But I won’t see him. He’s fucking dead. Nor can I return his medallion to him, because I lost it in a fucking movie theater on a trip I hardly wanted to go on anyway. Now I’m pissed at myself for having been soon stupid as to leave it in the seat next to me when my friends weren’t satisfied with the seats I chose. I’m just so tired of being stupid, wrong and insignificant I could scream. But screaming isn’t going to help anything. Talking about it won’t help anything. And I still lost my dead friends final memento. God, I even surprise myself sometimes.

And of course in me being upset I’m sure I’ve been irrational. But you know what, I’m human. It comes with the title. I need to stop thinking it’s wrong to be so.

Sigh. I hate today. I need to sleep as soon as possible.

...now I know why I never listen to this CD...

...I'm at work...I should be working, but instead I thought, why not blog! I mean, we are capable of getting on the site so...they're asking for it :P.

I put in a CD to listen to and it's playing and now I understand why I never listen to it. The guy has such a horrible voice. His piano playing is really great, but his voice is SOOOO bad. It's just bad that I've personally worked with this person...O.o...

A little while ago I had a great conversation with my friend about music. It made me feel so much better. I've swithced my major a few times because of the instruction and the instructors, to psychology. I don't really want to do that...well not fully. I mean, if I don't do what I really want to do, then I could see myself really enjoying being a psychiatrist, but what I really love is art.

It's just so much more gratifying to me to do something artistic then anything else I've ever experienced. I hate to feel like I'm giving up on it just because I've had bad instructors and bad experiences with it. Talking to people who really love the things I love and who really want to see me do what I love and be happy makes me feel like I'm settling. I hate settling.

I'm glad I've got an entire year to figure out what I really want to do. I hope this year will help me decide if I want to just give up on my art or puruse it.

:) Not to change the subject abruptly, but I have a couple of new songs I'm attempting to learn on the piano. Moonlight Sonata in C# minor (I already know it in A minor) and Kiss the Rain (which really sounds as cheesy as the title :P). I'm so excited to improving my piano proficiency. I love the instrument. In Korea I'm going to get a nice electric piano and string guitar and learn them intently.

Speaking of Korea, I'm freaked about it. Although I'm sure it will bode fantastic blog material. So, in two and a half weeks, look out for this guys Korean blogs...I hope I'll have something worth talking about by then :/. :D

I'm feeling way better after forcing myself to...and having some really eye opening conversations will some really awesome people.

So, wish me a safe flight!

Steven

It's been a while.

Whew! I have to crack my knuckles and wipe the dust off of my keyboard before I can get into this.

I made it into the TaLK program. That the best news I feel like I've ever gotten. I'm so exhausted from school and the U.S. and life that I can't wait to take this year and sort of half vacation, half work my ass off in Korea for a year.

That's right, I'm going to Korea!...minor set backs aside. I thought that you could go after going to school for two years, but looks like to get an E-2 visa you have to have an associates degree. Luckily, I'm taking my last two classes this summer with three days to spare before the deadline to express mail my transcript and get my flight all set for Korea.

...it had better all fall into place...I've already booked my flight for Chicago on August first and I really wouldn't look forward to paying for my own plane ticket to Korea.

...but I'll do what I have to, they'll reimburse me!

I've been feeling rather love sick recently...as in missing it. Not that I'm not surrounded by love. I know that the family I'm living with loves me despite undoubtedly getting on one another's nerves (sorry!) and I know that my own family loves me from their three-hours-away distances, and even more people who I haven't even though of!...but I mean romantically. There's just times when I'm sitting alone and I feel like my time would be better spent curled up in someone else's arms reading a book aloud to one another, or just talking and laughing and enjoying company.

It's hard to get over yourself. It's hard to realize that there just isn't anyone around you that would be worth your time and effort and that you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. Go figure I'm notorious for allowing others to control the way I feel. One person tells me something I've done wrong or scolds me and I'm upset and depressed at the very least for the rest of the night. So, naturally when I don't have a man friend I feel unattractive and personality inept. Feeling like your boring sucks!

It'll be good to get away. I know that Korea isn't the kind of place where I'm going to meet a guy, after all, Korean's say there aren't gays in their country (chya right!) but I'll be close to Seoul (I hope. I'm in Gangwan so...I'll keep my fingers crossed) that hopefully there will be a big enough gay crowed that I can mingle well in. If not, I don't mind...I've been living around fag-haters since I've come out of the closet, what's another year on top of it :/. I'm sure it won't be a big deal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm at a happy place in my life, I just have to learn to see that. :) One of these days I'll be confident in myself enough to not let things bother me, but I'm not there yet. I'm not unapologetically me. In fact I STILL don't know exactly who I am or who I want to be...but I feel like I have all the time in the world. I'm in no rush.

The worst part of being human

Liking people is probably the worst part of being human. Having a sex drive sucks. At times I wish I could just crush my libido and never have sex again.

It's such a hassle that goes along with human romance. We have to try so hard to appear attractive to other people. So, we spend hours in the bathroom, making sure we're spic and span and ready to greet the human race with our sex drive in overdrive.

Then there is the actual awkwardness of getting to know someone. You have to keep looking like you want to fuck their brains out without coming on too strongly and scaring them away. Look, I just wish it were as easy as one another coming up to each other and saying, "Hey, let's fuck!" If that's what they have in mind, then just fucking say it right off the bat. Then I'd know what I was messing with.

And finally there's all that messy emotional bull-fuckin'-shit that goes along with dating. I enjoy being lovey dovey and cuddling as much as the next guy, but when it comes to that day when they've cheated on you, or you've finally let them see you without clothes on or they've really gotten to know who you really are or you've decided that you have to leave where you are in life, then you're flung into all of that metaphysical sticky goo of the break up. That's when hanging out is awkward, and having mutual friends is awkward and even regarding the person as a living, breathing, human being is awkward so you thinking, "Hey, let's just forget about it," and you do and it's all over.

Only it's not. It isn't ever over. You return again and again, hoping to fuck that really great guy who will be with you forever. Cause let's face it guys, we date to have sex. If we didn't have sex drives, we wouldn't need to date...we could just all be really great friends. Anyone who tries to deny this fact is obviously denying their promiscuity. If you think it's wrong, it doesn't make it any better if you're dating when you do it.

Maybe I'm bitter. Maybe I'm sick in tired of listening to people's bullshit, baby whiney, crying crap about how they really liked someone and they just can't get over it, or dating really is that great. I don't mean to sound like I hate people who have found someone really great for them and then they feel the need to proclaim it to the world. I don't hate you, I hate what you're doing. It doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy to see two people holding hands or kissing or telling each other that they mean the world to one another. Why? Cause I'm jealous. That's fucking why!

I have crushes too. I like people too. I like to have sex too. I'm a human being just like you are! So don't judge me if I call something what it is. I hate wanting to be with people. It hurts me because I know that no matter what it doesn't matter to the person I like...because quite usually they won't like me back.

I'm starting to ramble here. So, here's the last bit of my shpeal and I'll try to wrap this up. I'm tired of people not liking me. I do everything I'm supposed to. I play the stupid games that everyone plays. I don't want to see everyone around me happy and me just smiling pretending I'm happy for them when I'm not.

Michael C. Hall is so gorgeous.

I've been wanting to be really deep lately...

...ahhh I got nothing!

There's something very relieving in the end of school. I know it stereotypical of pretty much everyone who attends school but...I'm so glad it's over. I'm only sad that I've got classes on the 24...it's coming back so fast!

The TaLK office in Chicago sent all of our info (Carlie, Caitlin and I) to Seoul. We've decided that's a good omen. After all, if they didn't like us in Chicago, we don't think it would have sent our info off to Korea...so good stuff!

Video games and dead television serious are the primary element in my life these days. Living with Carlie and Caitlin...I thought I'd be hanging out with them more...I guess seeing each other all the time makes hanging out sort of droll so we don't actually see each other that often. It kind of makes me laugh how much I try to talk to them at home and how bored I can tell they are that I'm there! :P

Buuuut I'm taking a trip to Hutch this weekend which I hope will give us all a break. I miss some friends back home and I'm excited to see them...except that I said I'd hang out with Michael Friday but I'll be leaving then...I totally forgot! Haha! Oh well, he won't read this so no big deal.

I hope I've got a job lined up for me when I get back...but I've got first day of classes on Monday...:/ I'm not totally excited to be taking Algebra at 8:00 A.M. MTWTR but...what do you do. I need to graduate. That and I've got art appreciation online. Ew.

I've noticed this is the first blog I've made in a while...and how utterly pointless and fucking boring it is...man I need to get a life! :)

In the mean time...I'm going to go watch Six Feet Under. Michael C. Hall is so gorgeous.

Distasteful

I don't mean to sound ungrateful. Neither do I mean to sound pityful or like I'm shoving guilt off of me. As I've grown older I've learned to realize I cant take 100% of the blame for everything. Most occurances have some amount of anothers blame.

I won best actor. Great. I'm really proud of myself for that. It's really not a big deal, it's just the Anna plays, but I'm glad that for once I got some recognition for the reason I actually came to Independence Community College. After the show Jon told me that, seeing my work, he was sad that I hadn't stuck with the theatre program and congratulated me on what I'd done. At the time I smiled and thanked him and laughed a little to get across that I was happy. However, I was quite sick to my stomach.

It's not that I wasn't happy I won the award. It's that, after I'd changed my degree path twice, after I had worked my ass off auditioning for him only to ever be turned down or given a role without any words, is when he decides that he could actually use me. It's thanks to him I don't enjoy theatre. It's thanks to Peter I don't enjoy theatre. It's thanks to Kelly I don't enjoy music. They made it work. They made it a hassle. They made me form a distaste in my mouth at the minor thought of performing.

It was primarily a spur of the moment, shred of luck that I was even performing for the Anna plays. I was thinking of doing it, but when I was cast I was thinking of quiting. It wasn't utill I saw that I was playing in a very beautiful show that I decided to stick with it. Not only was I appalled at Jon, but so was I at Karissa for coming up to me and telling me a good job and that she couldn't remember me acting before that moment. Seriously, it wasn't because I didn't want to.

Their compliments only made me sick. I could have done without the award honestly. Theatre should be about the art...about making something worth watching...not about a competition. These warped perceptions of teachers who haven't performed in their field of study professionally for 10+ years aren't the kind of education I needed. I came to Independence to perform and instead at it beaten out of me. I'm glad it happened here though. Here was the best place for me to change my mind.

Vlog!

Got a new Vlog up! Here's a link to the vid. (Edit: I put another one up. Here)

I've decided I kind of like youtube. I've had a channel for a really long time but it was mostly just so I could view videos. Now I believe uploading videos is quite an enjoyable pass time.

However, my videos aren't terribly interesting, unlike my friend ktishme who has pretty fascinating (at the very least) videos and numerous more subscribers than I do.

Money is such an aggravating thing...or more so the lack there of. I really would love to buy some better recording equipment for my computer, but I just can't afford it. In fact I had to buy a pair of $50 running shoes that suck when I wanted to buy $80-$100 shoes that would have been so much better on my feet...but alas I'm broke...especially after buying the shoes I COULD afford. *sigh*

So I promise that soon I will have good videos up...but for now they have to be ones of me singing acapella and boring Vlogs...but I did figure out how to edit my Vlogs so I can make them a tad more captivating.

On a side note, just about me, my life is in shambles. I just got done with the William Inge Theatre Festival in which my life was metaphorically (thank got no literally) raped in a corner by the festival heads. I had SO much to do. Also, I'm in a 10 + minute show...I know, easy, except that we had 3 weeks to rehearse and one week we didn't for the festival. It's fine for me, but I'll be pissed if no one knows their lines. I HATE acting off people who can't get their lines.

So, after this week I can return to my wonderful life of friends, Glee, Lost, American Idol, Korean Lessons, and NOT work. The end is near!

Then finals and more summer classes. Joy.

I hope I find out from TaLK soon whether I'm going or not. I ought to plan on K-State if I'm not...:/

Anyway. I wrote a poem pretty recently. Read it if you're interested. It's about a person from ICC who's leaving. My English professor wanted me to write it so I thought, why not? It's a villanelle and is in iambic pentameter. I'm pretty proud of it.

I'm reading it at open mic night. Kinda nervous....and I'm playing moonlight sonata...double nervous...O.o...

I've been wondering recently just how many people actually read these blogs...and I don't think it's many. It's funny how undeniably self-indulgent writing a blog is. It's like writing a journal for everyone to read...and yet no one really does. Oh well, on I forge through literary strife and struggle!

Steven