The Dangers of Epilation...dun dun duuuun

(Edit: This blog is primarily for educational purposes. I'm in no way saying DON'T BUY THIS PRODUCT. I'm just informing those perspective buyers of what I wasn't aware of before I myself purchased it. Before you decide if you want to buy, I recommend you get all the way through this blog first. I talk about it's up's and downs.)

I'm a peculiarly a vain individual... especially when it comes to the regarding fact that I am a man. Now, my friend Caitlin bought this device called an Epilator. It sounds like some sort of doomsday device (and in many ways it is) but in fact, it is a device used to rapidly twease a certain area of your body (hence the prefix epi - upon [which actually originates from the word epidermis, which is skin] and ate - which literally means to become eradicated. The prefix I think should be chaeto - meaning hair and end with ate forming the word Chaetolator...but alas). Unfortunately the inadvertent name which at first understanding would seem incorrect lives entirely up to that devilish name.

Being a poor college student has it's perks, like free food from pitying semi-wealthy adults and the use of certain facilities that aren't yours, but it has it's downs...such as the word POOR in the phrase poor college student. An Epilator costs about $40 and can be used repeatedly whereas a wax costs about the same but has to be done about once a month. In essence, I was attempting to save money.

This essentially, is a blog to inform any other male users of the product (which I don't doubt there are numerous of them...well at least more than what we think) of the downsides and upsides of purchasing an Epilator. I figured, hey, I'll be THAT guy who steps out and admits to having sensible hair hygiene and grooming practices and for any of you other scared men who don't want to admit it, here's some info for you before you discretely purchase your own handy dandy bright pink (because even the manufacturers believe men won't use it...*shaking my head*) Epilator.

My first point: Price. If you're someone who can afford a wax once a month, DO IT. It's way less painful, trust me. Yeah, both ways involve a lot of pain, but at least in a wax it's over in a few seconds. An Epilator tweases hairs individually as you go, so it's quite continuous. In lamens terms, it hurts like a mother fucker! I was literally grinding my teeth, grimacing, yelling and sweating from the pain. It was undoubtedly the worst pain I've ever inflicted on myself.

If you can't afford waxing once a month but still desperately want that smooth, hairless skin, then buy it. Just keep in mind you have to have a HIGH pain tolerance and tenacity to keep going...and possibly a stick to put in your mouth to keep from screaming.

Now, you've bought it. You get it out of the box, plug it in and get at it. My recommendations on the actual removal of hair continues this blog.

Start from the bottom and work up. If you're particularly thick haired or have a lot of it...sorry my friend, you're going to cry. Luckily, I'm not terribly bushy (phew). Make long passes. I know it hurts and it's hard to leave it on for even a second, let alone the ten it will take to get up the side of your leg, but grin and bear it. It's way better to slowly rake it across the skin then quickly. It hardly gets any strands that way and you just prolong your pain by going over it repeatedly. No, just make one, long, agonizing sweep, wipe the sweat from your brow, and continue.

TAKE YOUR TIME! I can't urge you enough. Have minnnie cry sessions in between strokes. Breath and grown for a bit...but don't get in a hurry. You miss stuff and then you have to go all back over it again.

The worst spots are tender spots. The back of the knee (where it bends) the stomach, in between the pecks, inside of the leg and toes are the worst spots. It took me an hour to get up to my knees. Another hour on my stomach and chest. If it takes the span of a few days, that's okay...I can hardly last more than 30 minutes anymore at a time with this thing.

THE ADVANTAGES: Trust me, you'll want to know this. It's the only way you may really consider this product.

Once you've done it once, it will never be that painful again. The hair will grow back slowly and much thinner then before. As long as you re-epilate yourself on a regular basis, it's 100% more bearable. Yeah, there will the the occasional tug on certain hairs and it will sting a bit, but nothing compared to the self mutilation you endured the first time you used it...and it lasts for about a month at a time so it's totally doable.

A FEW TIPS: I read of a few tips that may help with the pain.

If you get a water proof Epilator, using it in the shower apparently reduces some of the friction and tug you get. This doesn't mean it won't hurt.

Lather yourself up and be clean before you do it.

Trim longer hair to a reasonable length. If it's too long the tweasing heads have trouble catching the hair and instead tug painfully on the hair without removing it.

If you can afford it, get a full wax the first time. Then, from then on if you use the Epilator, it will never hurt so bad and you can maintain hairless skin.

WARNING:

First of all IT FUCKING HURTS!

Second, bleeding may occur on particularly tough hair (these areas include near the pubic region [I don't recommend using an Epilator on the pubic region. You should just use a good ol' fashioned razor for that shit], chest, stomach and underarms. As the hair is pulled away it causes the poor to bleed sometimes. But don't be distraught, it's normal and hardly noticeable and will go away in a few days.

Third, the first time you use it, I can guarantee you will get what appears to be a razor burn, that's only on certain areas of the chest - stomach and upper leg/thigh and possibly underarm (I don't epilate my underarms and arms so...go experiment if you dare). It caused from the massive aggravation you're causing on the surface of your skin. Don't be distraught however. It will heal and go away in a few days and will either come back smaller and smaller until it doesn't show up or won't return at all. Just gotta give it time.

Forth, be sure you're very clean. Since bleeding can occur, it's possible to get infected by staph (everyone has staph on their skin at all times anyway, so BE CAREFUL).

And that concludes my blog on the dangers of epilation. If you're a girl, you hardly have as much to worry about since your hair naturally grows in finer. If your'e a boy, buy the product...if you dare!