\O-O/

I can't stand being around people who refuse to make the best out of a situation. People who can't be at least somewhat optimistic about the place their in or try to at least enjoy themselves. What's even possibly more revolting is finding out that a friend would rather be in a different place, disregarding the new friends they have made or the memories they have made where they're at, to go back to somewhere they used to be.

I'm definitely not from Kansas. Do you think I don't want to go back to Washington everyday I wake up to flat boring fucking Kansas!? Of course I'd love to go home. But I don't complain about being in Kansas. I don't tell all of my friends (more or less) that I'd rather ditch them and go home then stay with them making the best I can out of what I have laid before me.

In the end it's been better for me coming here. While I'm sure I would have figured out who I was in WA, I wouldn't be the person I am without the plains of good ol' Kansas impressed upon me. I could have been far worse if I had stayed in WA. And so I thank whatever higher power that things happened the way they happened, that I have the friends I have, and that I can't change what has been done.

But there's something that grates me oh so wrong about someone you'd consider a friend showing absolutely no remorse about the prospect of leaving you and never seeing you again! I'd love to go back to WA, but I'd feel terrible leaving my friends. It doesn't mean I wouldn't go, but it just means it would make it that much harder to leave.

There's something that really sinks your heart about finding out exactly how appreciated you are. You say one thing wrong and you're ignored and treated like shit for days. You do everything you can to accost and make someone feel loved and the moment you speak your mind you are made to feel shame. It's the little things that help you know how much you count. The way a person acts can be read easily if you open your eyes and try. People obsess themselves with technology and forget that we are physical, sexual, body-language-reading creatures. Everything can be read in a comment, in a look, in an action, without the use of exact verbalization. So don't tell me you care about me unless you mean it or I'm blind. I may need glasses but I can still see just fine.