Surviving the Fray

So I'm sitting here, waiting for my TaLK interview. I'm actually not nervous at all. If I get accepted, I'm accepted. If not, then not. Either they'll like me or not. I can't possibly do anything to sway their hand or make them like me. That and maybe it's cause I have a back-up plan that I'm not really stressing about it. Who knows?

I sent a message to an old friend the other day to apologize for the way I've been. I don't know how many times I can say I'm sorry until it's useless and the other individual just has to get over the fact that, yes, at one time I was a dick. I did something wrong. However I believe I learn from all of the mistakes I've made. I'm not sorry that I made the mistake, it makes me who I am, but I'm sorry for the people that inevitable were required for me to hurt for me to learn those lessons. I've been hurt by others mistakes, but I try very hard to be open minded and forgiving. Don't hold grudges. Don't dredge up past angst. Go through life head forward and not looking back.

People's actions change but I'm not sure people themselves change. I think that I've always been a good person. I am. I'm not even going to second guess myself or feel egotistical, I'm a good person. Yes, some of my actions in the past have been rather less revealing of that trait, but I would never act now the way I did when I was younger.

I'm not old by any means. I don't think that I've learned everything. But I have learned that learning is entirely life long...and that things fluctuate and differ as life moves on.

I don't hate anyone, and there isn't anyone who I think doesn't deserve a fair and second chance. I can't hold anything against anyone when I've got my own baggage to deal with. But I won't be around someone who won't grant me an opportunity to redeem myself. It's just unhealthy on both of our parts. And though it may hurt us greatly in doing so, blame me then if that's what it takes to survive it...but I can assure you, survive it you will.

Welp, now for my interview. After that piece of insight I hope I'll get some good juju and have a good meeting. Then I'm off to Disney World! ...I'll fill you in on that at a later date! :)